A horse is in a pub having a few beers when he spots a donkey in the corner, so he goes over for a chat. The donkey asks, “What do you do for a living?” The horse says, “I run on the flats in the summer and do the jumps in the winter.” And the donkey says, “I work with the kids on the beach.” He then asks the horse “Did you win anything?” The horse replies “Yes, on the flats I won the Oaks, St Leger, and the Derby. And over the jumps, I won the Grand National and the Gold Cup.” They arrange to meet at the donkey’s house the following week and the donkey thinks “I really need to impress this guy…he's done everything.” So he goes out and buys a big picture of a Zebra and hangs it above his fireplace. The horse arrives and says, “Lovely place you have here, and who’s that in the picture on the wall?” The donkey replies “That’s me when I played for Juventus...”
Quasimodo comes home and his wife has the Wok out. He says "Oh great are you cooking Chinese tonight?" She says "No I'm just ironing you a shirt"
Fella up in prison, says to the warden, " it's cold in this cell", warden says "I'll put you another bar on"
A Scouser went to a prostitute. She said, ‘Do you want a blow job?’ He said, ‘Will it affect me dole money?’
