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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I was at a job interview yesterday when the manager handed me a laptop and said: “I want you to try to sell this to me.”
    So I put it under my arm, left the building and went home.
    Later he called me and said: “Bring my laptop back now.”
    I said: “£200 and it’s yours.”
     
    #15201
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I'm sure there's a cream for that...

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    #15202
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Her dog came in heat and she was concerned about keeping it and the male separated. But she had a large house and she believed that she could keep the two dogs apart.
    However, as she was drifting off to sleep, she heard awful howling and moaning sounds.
    She rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together and unable to disengage, as frequently happens when dogs mate.
    Unable to separate them, and perplexed as to what to do next, although it was very late at night, she called her vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice.
    After she explained the problem to him, the vet said, "Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs.
    I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and he will be able to withdraw.
    "Do you think that will work?" she asked.
    "Just worked for me." he replied.
     
    #15203
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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  5. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  6. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  7. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #15207
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  8. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    My professor accused me of plagiarizing
    His words, not mine.
     
    #15208
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  9. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  10. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #15210
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #15211
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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  18. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  19. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  20. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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