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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

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  1. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #11681
    antipodean exile, Nov 28, 2019
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  2. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #11682
    antipodean exile, Nov 28, 2019
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    WOMEN'S ENGLISH



    1. Yes = No

    2. No = Yes

    3. Maybe = No

    4. We need = I want

    5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

    6. We need to talk = you're in trouble

    7. Sure, go ahead = you better not

    8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later

    9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!

    10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?





    MEN'S ENGLISH



    1. I am hungry = I am hungry

    2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

    3. I am tired = I am tired

    4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

    5. I love you = let's have sex now

    6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

    7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

    8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

    9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

    10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

    11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay
     
    #11683
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 29, 2019
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11684
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 29, 2019
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11685
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 29, 2019
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11686
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 29, 2019
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11687
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 29, 2019
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11688
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 29, 2019
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Right!! That's the last time I give up my seat for an elderly lady. How was I to know she'd never driven a ****ing bus before........

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    #11689
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 29, 2019
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11690
    Wooperts_duck, Nov 29, 2019
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  11. antipodean exile

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    #11691
    antipodean exile, Nov 30, 2019
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  12. antipodean exile

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    #11692
    antipodean exile, Nov 30, 2019
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  13. antipodean exile

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    #11693
    antipodean exile, Nov 30, 2019
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    #11694
    antipodean exile, Nov 30, 2019
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    #11695
    antipodean exile, Nov 30, 2019
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    #11696
    antipodean exile, Nov 30, 2019
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    #11697
    antipodean exile, Nov 30, 2019
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    #11698
    antipodean exile, Nov 30, 2019
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    #11699
    antipodean exile, Nov 30, 2019
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