A blonde began a job as an elementary school counsellor, and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of football at the other. Sandy approached and asked if he was alright. The boy said he was. A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself. Approaching again, Sandy said, "Would you like me to be your friend?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Okay", looking at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, "Why are you standing here alone?" "Because," the little boy said with great exasperation, "I"m the f*cking goalie."
"It"s too hot to wear clothes today," my husband said to me, stepping out of the shower. "What do you reckon the neighbours will think if I mow the grass like this?" he asked. "Probably that I married you for your money," I replied.
Sing a song of syphilis, A fanny full of crabs, Four and twenty ulcers,and twice as many scabs When the scabs are opened, The twat begins to sing, "What a f*ckin" dirty place to put your penis in!"
I went into a chemist yesterday and said to the bloke behind the counter, "excuse me, do you have cotton wool balls?" He said, "what do you think I am, a f*ckin" teddy bear?"
