There hasn't been a 2nd leg thrown away in Liverpool this convincing since Paul McCartney had a blazing row with Heather Mills...
David Beckham and Gary Neville are sitting watching the 5 "o" clock news where a man is threatening to jump off a bridge. Beckham says to Gary Neville " I bet you 100 quid that he doesn"t jump", Gary Neville replies ""OK I bet you 100 quid that he DOES jump" Sure enough the man jumped off of the bridge and killed himself. Beckham gets out 100 quid and gives it to Gary. Gary says "I can"t take your money, it wouldn"t be fair. You"re my best mate and all that............ I had watched the 12 "o" clock news earlier and it was on then, so I knew he was going to jump" Beckham replied "I watched the 12 "o" clock news as well but i didn"t think that he would jump again"
A lorry carrying copies of Roget"s Thesaurus crashed on the M1 yesterday, shedding it"s load across the carriageway. Onlookers are said to be stunned, bewildered, dumbfounded, astonished, shocked, flabbergasted, startled, speechless and amazed.
The flock of prize budgerigars recently stolen in Oxfordshire was probably stolen to order, said the Chairman of The Budgie Society, Hugh Zapretti Boyden.
In deference to The Royal Commission for Political Correctness, it was announced today that the local climate in the UK should no longer be referred to as ...."English Weather." Rather than offend a sizable portion of the population, it will now be referred to as 'Muslim Weather.' In other words - 'partly Sunni, but mostly Shi'ite......
