Ann Summers new vibrator for women is so realistic! Just before you reach a climax it cums, farts, goes limp, rolls over and then it switches itself off.
Today"s Daily Star said "One in four births in Britain is to an immigrant woman". WHO THE HELL IS SHE & ISN"T IT ABOUT TIME SHE WAS STERILIZED!!!!
Barca ultras are planning their revenge for when they visit Liverpool next week - they intend pushing the locals into job centres.....
An Australian guy is travelling around the Greek Islands . He walks into a bar and, by chance, is served by an Australian barmaid. As she takes his order, a Foster's, she notices his accent. Over the course of the evening they get chatting. At the end of her shift he asks if she wants to come back to his place. Although she is attracted to him she says no. He then offers to pay her $200 to sleep with him. As she is travelling around the world, and is short of funds, she agrees. The next night the guy turns up again. Again he orders Fosters and after showing her plenty of attention, asks if she will sleep with him again for $200. She remembers the pay-out from night before and is only too happy to agree. This goes on for 5 nights. On the 6th night the guy comes in again, orders Fosters but goes and sits in the corner. The barmaid thinks that if she pays him more attention then, maybe she can shake some more cash out of him. So she goes over and sits next to him. She asks him where he's from in Australia ... ' Melbourne ', he tells her. 'So am I. What suburb?' she enquires. 'Glen Iris' he replies. 'That's amazing,' she says excitedly, 'so am I - what street?' ' Cameo Street ' he replies. 'This is unbelievable.........' she says, her voice quavering; 'What number?' 'Number 20', he replies. She is totally astonished. 'You are NOT going to believe this,' she screams, 'but I'm from number 22! My parents still live there!' 'I know...' he says, 'Your Dad gave me $1,000 to give to you
3 men die on Christmas eve. To get into heaven St Peter says "You must have something that represents Christmas" The English man flicks on his lighter and says "Its a candle" St Peter lets him pass. The Welshman takes out his keys and jingles them and says "Christmas bells". St Peter lets him pass. The Irishman takes out his 10" cock. St Peter says "How does that represent Christmas" Mick replies "Its a fcukin' cracker isn't it"
