My wife says she’s leaving me as she thinks I’m too obsessed with astronomy. Just what fu*king planet is she on?
George Bush decided that as his last act as President he is going to reach out to US Muslims after the invasions of Iraq and Afghanistan. Every Muslim Community Leader has been invited to a Texas Hog Roast on the White House lawn.
Michael Owen is in a nightclub. He spots a gorgeous young lady in there, and he goes up to her, squeezes her arse and asks her if she fancies a shag. She says: "Blimey, you"re a little forward, aren"t you?"
My wife was not impressed when I bought a revolving chair. Then she sat on it. I think she’s coming round.....
