A man visits the doctor. Patient: 'Doctor, what a small office you have!' Doctor: 'Go away, I'm taking a Dump!'
I"ve recently been encouraging my sixteen year old daughter to find a job to help pay for her college education. Last week she came home with five applications,and later that night I read them. Under "previous employment", she listed "baby sitter". Under "reason for leaving" she wrote,"they came home".
A young lady was sat on an airplane when she suddenly sneezed, "Aaaaatchooooooooo! Ooooooh oh yeah." The man sat next to her asked if she was okay. She replied, "I"m wonderful, never felt better." A short while later she sneezed again, "Aaaaatchoooo! Oh my god! oh yeah!" Again the man enquired if she was okay. She replied, "Ooooh wonderful, never felt better." A few minutes later she does it again, "Aaaatchooooooooooo! Oh uh uh oh yeah oh god yeah!" The man by this time was a bit concerned, he enquired again, "are you okay? What"s with all the moaning?" She replied, "I have a medical condition, every time I sneeze, I orgasm." "Wow!", replied the man, "Are you taking anything for it?"" Yes", she answered, "Pepper."
My uncle was a sh1t ventriloquist ............... He used to sit me on his knee, stick his fingers up my arse and tell me not to say anything.
