I used to go out with an English teacher, but she dumped me. She didn"t approve of my improper use of the colon.
Why is Parkinsons better than Alzeimers? Because it"s better to spill half your pint than forget where you fcuking put it.
I called the Samaritans saying that I felt like throwing myself in front of a train and needed help. They told me to stay on the line...
