My wife was telling her friend that obesity is in her genes. I was compelled to point out that wasn"t true as she looks like a fat twat in a skirt as well.
A man goes to the doctor feeling very ill. The doctor checks him over and says, “I'm Sorry, I have some bad news, you have Yellow 24, a really nasty virus. It's called Yellow 24, because it turns your blood yellow and you usually only have 24 hours to live. There's no known cure, so just go home and enjoy your final precious moments on earth .”So he trudges home to his wife and breaks the bad news. Distraught, she asks him to go to the bingo with her that evening as he's never been there with her before. They arrive at the bingo and with his first card he gets four corners and wins £50. Then, with the same card, he gets a line and wins £350.Then he gets the full house and wins £1000. Then the National Game comes up and he wins that as well - winning £400,000!The bingo caller gets him up on stage and says,“Son, I've been here 20 years and I've never seen anyone win four corners, a line, the full house and the National Game on the same card. You must be the luckiest man on Earth!”“Lucky?” the bloke screams, “Lucky? I'll have you know I've got Yellow 24.” “Blow me,” says the bingo caller, “You've won the raffle as well!”
