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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #7881
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Asked one of my colleagues if they were doing Movember earlier as I’d be happy to sponsor them.

    She didn’t reply and for some reason she’s now been in the toilets for 45 minutes, and I’ve just had an email from our HR dept.
     
    #7882
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #7883
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    A lorry laden with thousands of Thesauruses shed its load on the motorway yesterday.

    Witnesses were said to be stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, confused, shocked, dazed, bewildered, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, confounded, amazed, perplexed and speechless.
     
    #7884
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I'm not saying my girlfriend is the biggest in the ballet class.

    But, she is wearing a three three.....
     
    #7885
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  6. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    • Q. How many ears does Spock have?
    • A. 3. A left ear, a right ear and a final frontier.
     
    #7886
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  7. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    • TIP OF THE DAY!!!
    • Never get into an argument with a schizophrenic and say, "just who do you think you are?"
     
    #7887
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  8. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #7888
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  9. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #7889
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  10. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #7890
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  11. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #7891
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  12. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #7892
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  13. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #7893
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  14. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #7894
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    My kids came back from Trick or Treating with a sofa and 2 armchairs.

    I was furious, I've told them a million times not to accept suites from strangers
     
    #7895
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #7896
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #7898
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #7899
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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