An elderly couple are having dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The old man leans forward and says to his wife, "It has always bothered me that our tenth child never quite looked like the rest of our children. I want to assure you that these 75 years have been the most wonderful experience I could have ever hoped for and your answer will never take all that away. But... I must know, did he have a different father?" The wife drops her head, unable to look her husband in the eye, pauses for moment and then confesses. "Yes, he did." "Who was he?" he asks. The old woman drops her head, trying to muster the courage to tell the truth to her husband. She gulps down her wine and finally, she says, "You."
Jack Brown was waiting anxiously outside the maternity ward where his wife was giving birth to their first baby. As he paced back and forth, a nurse popped her head around the door. "It's a boy, Mr Brown," she said, "but we think you'd better go and have a cup of coffee because there might be another one." Jack turned a bit pale and left. Some time later, he rang the hospital and was told he was the father of twins. "But," the nurse went on, "we're sure there's another on the way. Ring back again in a little while." Then Jack decided that coffee wasn't strong enough. He ordered a few beers and then he rang the hospital again, only to be told that a third baby had arrived and a fourth was due any moment. With a white face, Jack stumbled over to the bar and ordered a double scotch. Twenty minutes later he tried the phone again, but he was in such a state that he dialed the wrong number and instead got a recorded cricket score. When they picked him up from the floor of the phone booth, the recording was still going on, "The score is 96 all out, and the last one was a duck!"
