I went into a store in Birmingham and asked how much a Kipper tie was. The assistant told me to ask at the cafe....
An elderly couple,Denise and Jeffrey, were watching a Discovery Channel special about a West African bush tribe whose men all had penises 18 inches long. When the black male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around his penis and on the other end is a weight. After a while, the weight stretches the penis to 18 inches. Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower, his wife looked at him and said, “How about we try the African string-and-weight procedure?” The husband agreed and they tied a string and a weight to his penis. A few days later, the wife asked the husband, “How is our little tribal experiment coming along?” “Well, it looks like we’re about half way there,” he replied. “Wow, you mean it’s grown to 9 inches?” “No, it’s turned black.
Last year, I got so sick of the trick or treaters that I turned the lights off and pretended I wasn't in. Stuff the ships. My lighthouse, my rules…
