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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

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  1. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #36761
    antipodean exile, Aug 17, 2025 at 3:30 AM
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  2. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #36762
    antipodean exile, Aug 17, 2025 at 3:31 AM
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    The Black Bra
    I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I, the third one, have been married for 20+ years.
    We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.
    Here’s how it all went.
    My engaged friend:
    The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos, and a mask. He saw me and said, ‘You are the woman of my dreams…I love you.’ Then we made passionate love all night long.
    The mistress:
    'Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn’t say a word, but he started to tremble and we made wild love all night.'
    Then I had to share my story:
    'When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he said,
    “What’s for dinner, Zorro?”'
     
    #36763
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 17, 2025 at 10:31 PM
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #36764
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 17, 2025 at 11:39 PM
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I cooked a Sunday Roast for Lionel Richie today.

    He asked once, twice, three times for gravy.....
     
    #36765
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 17, 2025 at 11:41 PM
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #36766
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 17, 2025 at 11:46 PM
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #36767
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 17, 2025 at 11:48 PM
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  8. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #36768
    antipodean exile, Aug 18, 2025 at 3:26 AM
  9. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #36769
    antipodean exile, Aug 18, 2025 at 3:35 AM
  10. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #36770
    antipodean exile, Aug 18, 2025 at 3:37 AM

  11. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #36771
    antipodean exile, Aug 18, 2025 at 3:38 AM
  12. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #36772
    antipodean exile, Aug 18, 2025 at 3:39 AM
  13. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #36773
    antipodean exile, Aug 18, 2025 at 3:41 AM
  14. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #36774
    antipodean exile, Aug 18, 2025 at 3:42 AM
  15. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    Salah’s penalty smashed a window of a person living near Wembley.
    Liverpool have already contacted the resident and promised to pay for the damages.
     
    #36775
    antipodean exile, Aug 18, 2025 at 3:45 AM
  16. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    U can spend all the money you want…
    But VIRGIL VAN DIJK WILL ALWAYS BE VIRGIL VAN SH!TE

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    #36776
    antipodean exile, Aug 18, 2025 at 3:46 AM
  17. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #36777
    antipodean exile, Aug 18, 2025 at 3:49 AM
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