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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  2. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  3. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I’ve just seen a man with a hat made of chocolate and coconut.

    He had a bounty on his head
     
    #36704
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I'm just nipping out to post a padded envelope full of classical music.

    Bach in a Jiffy…..
     
    #36705
  6. Number 1 Jasper

    Number 1 Jasper Well-Known Member

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  7. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  8. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  9. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #36710
  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #36711
  12. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  13. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  14. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    The Englishman's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. "Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any undies?" her husband demanded. "Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any."
    The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency, here's £20. Go and buy yourself some underwear."
    Next, the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she too is wearing no undies. "Blessed Virgin Mary, woman!
    You've no undies. Why not?" She replies, "I can't afford any on the money you give me." He reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency,
    here's £10. Go and buy yourself some underwear!"
    Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it. "Sweet mudder of Jesus, Aggie!
    Where the are yer drawers?" She too explains, "You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta affarrd any."
    The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says,
    "Well, fer the love 'o Jesus, here's a comb. Tidy yerself up a bit!"
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    #36715
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #36717
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    Isn't it strange how hot sexy women always drive cute small cars?

    Which reminds me - the tax is due on the wife's Transit.
     
    #36718
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #36719
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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