A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I"ve got a big problem doctor. Every time we"re in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this earsplitting yell." "My dear," the shrink said, "that"s completely natural. I don"t see what the problem is." "The problem," she complained, "is that it wakes me up."
The landlord at my local pub announced there's going to be a hefty cash prize for this years best costume for Halloween. Last year my wife won it and she only f*cking came to pick me up.
Well, it'll soon be Christmas, no doubt it'll be the same as last Christmas, eat the turkey, watch a bit of telly then an early night with a sh*it load of sex.... I f*cking hate prison......
Q: What's the difference between a fat chick and a Liverpool striker? A: Even a fat chick scores every once in a while!
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THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK: Indubitably Innovative Preliminary Proliferation Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK: Specificity British Constitution Passive-aggressive disorder Loquacious Transubstantiate THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK: Thanks, but I don't want to have sex Nope, no more booze for me Sorry, but you're not really my type Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight
