So after arguing for an hour with a man who said I was in his seat, he finally said.. “OK, YOU fly the plane”. . please log in to view this image please log in to view this image please log in to view this image please log in to view this image please log in to view this image please log in to view this image please log in to view this image please log in to view this image please log in to view this image
Two old ladies were standing outside their nursing home having a cigarette. When it started to rain one of the ladies went into her bag and brought out a pair of scissors and a condom. She then snipped off the end of the condom with the scissors and slipped it over the cigarette to keep it dry. The other lady thought this was a marvellous idea. So much so, the next day she headed down to the local chemists and asked at the counter for a packet of Durex. The chemist said, “Certainly, madam. What size do you require? Small, medium or large??” .... The lady thought for a second and replied, “Big enough to fit a camel.”
Isn't it weird that in England our flag offends so many Liverpool fans, yet our benefits don't... please log in to view this image
Barnsley couple say they may have to leave UK after repeatedly being mistaken for the Beckhams. please log in to view this image
I staggered into A&E with two black eyes, cuts all over the top of my head and a golf club wrapped around my neck. The concerned doctor asked "What on earth happened to you". I explained I took the wife for her first golf lesson. She drove off from the first tee and she sliced the ball, high, wide and handsome over to the left into a cow field. I said lets get the ball back and start again. We got to the field and I wandered in one direction and the wife the other, looking for the ball, then I spotted the ball stuck up a cow's arse. I crept up to the cow and gently lifted it's tail, l turned and pointed to the ball, and all I did, doctor, was shout to the wife "Hey, love this looks like yours".
