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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  2. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  3. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    Knocking on Heaven's Door ???
     
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  4. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  5. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #30365
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  6. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #30366
  7. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  8. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A man was in a long line at his local Sainsbury’s store. As he got to the check out he realised he had forgotten to get condoms, so he asked the checkout girl if she could have some brought up to the register. She asked, "What size condoms?" The customer replied that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did. She reached over the counter, grabbed hold of him and called over the intercom, "One box of large condoms, Checkout 5." The next man in line thought this was interesting, and like most of us, was up for a cheap thrill. When he got up to the check out, he told the girl that he too had forgotten to get condoms, and asked if she could have some brought to the check out for him. She asked him what size, and he stated that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did. She gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom and said, "One box of medium-sized condoms, Checkout 5." A few customers back was this teenage boy. He thought what he had seen was way too cool. He had never had any type of sexual contact with a live female, so he thought this was his chance. When he got to the check out he told the girl he needed some condoms. She asked him what size and he said he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants and he did. She reached over the counter, gave him a quick squeeze then picked up the intercom and said...
    "Mop and bucket to Checkout 5
     
    #30369
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A old man walks into a McDonalds
    He is bent over and shuffling slowly....
    He approaches the counter with great difficulty and orders an ice cream sundae.....
    The cashier asks, "Crushed nuts".....?
    The old man replies, "No arthritis"....!!!
     
    #30370
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    My nan had two passions in life..
    LSD and feeding ducks!


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    #30371
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    What sort of tea do they drink in Greece and Turkey?

    Every time I offer to make my wife a coffee, she says she'd rather have Aegean Tea......
     
    #30372
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  14. Wooperts_duck

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  15. antipodean exile

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  16. antipodean exile

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  17. antipodean exile

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  18. antipodean exile

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  19. antipodean exile

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  20. antipodean exile

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