Another utterly crap birthday party at my brother's house yesterday. I know he's a Bomb Disposal Technician, but does it really take 4 hours to open each present?
Bookies have started paying out on the British Summer lasting longer than Liverpool's title challenge.
With all the spam we get for penis-enlargement pills you"d think by now someone would have invented a pill to shrink vaginas instead.
A man comes home drunk in the early hours of the morning, his wife was angry and waiting at the door. She says, "Out drinking again!? How much did you spend this time?" He says, "�200." She shouts, "Two hundred f*cking quid?. That"s ridiculous, spending so much money in one night!" He says, "That"s easy for you to say: you don"t smoke, you don"t drink, and you have your own pussy."
Apparantly Greater Manchester and Lancashire County Councils are struggling with a costly sewage treatment and recycling facility. They should ask Peter Kay for help- he is an expert at making money by re-using old sh*t over and over again.
Anyone else find it slightly ironic that the A580 dual carriageway linking the two cities of Liverpool and Manchester spells out the word "ASBO?"
