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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #26721
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #26722
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #26723
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  4. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    3 desperately ill men go to their doctor seeking help:
    One is an alcoholic, One is a chain smoker and the other is gay.
    The doctor tells the men if you indulge in any of your bad habits again you will die.
    So the 3 men leave, the alcoholic sees a pub and hears its loud music and can't resist. He orders a shot of whisky drinks it and suddenly drops down dead.
    The other 2 men walk out side realising how serious this is.
    Then the chain smoker sees a half a cigarette on the ground still burning so the gay guy says to the chain smoker....
    "If you bend over to pick that up, you know were both dead."
     
    #26724
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  5. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #26725
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  6. antipodean exile

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    #26726
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  7. antipodean exile

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    #26727
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  8. antipodean exile

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    #26728
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  9. antipodean exile

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    #26729
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  10. antipodean exile

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    #26730
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  11. antipodean exile

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    #26731
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  12. antipodean exile

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    #26732
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  13. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    The speed in which a woman says 'nothing' when asked
    'whats wrong?'
    Is inversely proportional to severity of the coming storm.
     
    #26733
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  14. Wooperts_duck

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    #26734
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  15. Wooperts_duck

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    #26735
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  16. Wooperts_duck

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    #26736
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Have you been a victim of faulty double glazing?

    You could be entitled to condensation....
     
    #26737
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  18. antipodean exile

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    #26738
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  19. antipodean exile

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    #26739
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  20. antipodean exile

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    #26740
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