1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,629
    Likes Received:
    33,850
    please log in to view this image
     
    #23661
  2. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,629
    Likes Received:
    33,850
    Smelly Bob drove the honey bus for the local council and he'd arrived at old Granny Smith's to empty her septic tank. Bob always enjoyed winding up the punters and shouted to the deaf old coffin dodger,
    'Sorry love, but due to cutbacks I can only remove the liquid today'.
    Granny Smith never enjoyed this horrid event and looked concerned.
    'Yes dear, that's right' quipped the pongy prat
    'You'll have to book another visit to have the solids removed'
    Bob wandered back to his turd truck with a grin and Granny was quickly on the phone to his supervisor.
    'Hello, is that the Council? I'm not happy about my septic tank not being emptied properly. Your man say's he can only remove the liquid today, whatever's going on?'
    Bob's boss guessed he was up to his usual tricks and reassured the panicking pensioner,
    'Don't worry madam, the driver's only joking, he'll do a proper job'.
    'I beg your pardon' said Granny, not hearing a word.
    'I said don't worry, the driver's only joking, he'll do a proper job', repeated the boss, as clearly as possible
    'What's that now, you'll really have to speak up?' barked Granny.
    'He's messing about, of course he'll clear the tank properly', said the desk jockey, rapidly losing patience.
    'Stop mumbling man, speak clearly so I can hear you'.
    'HE'S JUST TAKING THE PISS' shouted the irate official.
    'Ah, at last!' exclaimed Granny. 'Now THAT'S why I'm ringing!
     
    #23662
  3. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,629
    Likes Received:
    33,850
    please log in to view this image
     
    #23663
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  4. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,629
    Likes Received:
    33,850
    please log in to view this image
     
    #23664
  5. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,629
    Likes Received:
    33,850
    please log in to view this image
     
    #23665
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  6. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,629
    Likes Received:
    33,850
    please log in to view this image
     
    #23666
  7. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,629
    Likes Received:
    33,850
    please log in to view this image
     
    #23667
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  8. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,629
    Likes Received:
    33,850
    please log in to view this image
     
    #23668
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  9. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,629
    Likes Received:
    33,850
    please log in to view this image
     
    #23669
  10. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,629
    Likes Received:
    33,850
    please log in to view this image
     
    #23670

  11. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,629
    Likes Received:
    33,850
    please log in to view this image
     
    #23671
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  12. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,629
    Likes Received:
    33,850
    please log in to view this image
     
    #23672
  13. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,629
    Likes Received:
    33,850
    please log in to view this image
     
    #23673
  14. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,629
    Likes Received:
    33,850
    please log in to view this image
     
    #23674
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  15. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,629
    Likes Received:
    33,850
    please log in to view this image
     
    #23675
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  16. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,629
    Likes Received:
    33,850
    please log in to view this image
     
    #23676
  17. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,629
    Likes Received:
    33,850
    please log in to view this image
     
    #23677
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  18. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,629
    Likes Received:
    33,850
    please log in to view this image
     
    #23678
    Wooperts_duck likes this.
  19. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,629
    Likes Received:
    33,850
    please log in to view this image
     
    #23679
  20. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,629
    Likes Received:
    33,850
    After many hours of extremely acrobatic and exhausting sex with a
    blonde he had just picked up, a man goes into the kitchen for some food
    to replenish his justspent energy.
    He pours himself a glass of milk
    and right before drinking it, he realizes his manhood is still pretty
    hot,so he sticks it in the glass to cool it off.
    Just then the blonde
    walks in and says,
    "Oh, I always wondered how you refilled those."
     
    #23680
    Wooperts_duck likes this.

Share This Page