I took my suit to the cleaners, who wanted to charge me £45! Instead, I gave my suit to the charity shop next door. They cleaned and pressed it. Then they put it in the window. I bought it for £12.50! Follow me for more money saving tips
A German guy called Helmut approaches a lady of the night in London . "I vish to buy sex viz you." "Okay," says the girl, "I charge £50 an hour." "Ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky." "No problem," she replies cautiously, "I can do a little kinky for an extra £10." Helmut agrees. So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller. "I vant zat you tie zese springs to each of your hans und knees." The girl finds this odd, but complies, fastening the springs as requested. "Now you vill get down on your hans und knees." This she duly does, balancing precariously on the springs. "You vill please to blow zis kwacker as I make love to you." She thinks this even odder, but figures it's harmless (and the guy is paying). But the sex is fantastic: honking away on the duck caller, she is bounced all over the room by the energetic German. The climax is the most sensational she has ever experienced, and it's several minutes before she has enough breath to say, "That was totally amazing! What do you call that position?" "Zat," replies the German, "is ze Four-sprung Duck Technique
So, earlier this morning, this guy found my debit card which fell out of my pocket while I was waiting in the queue in Lidl. He tried keeping it, even though I caught him picking it up and he turned to walk away but I kept tapping him on the shoulder demanding he give it back, and he denied having it. Then this even bigger idiot kept tapping on ....... See More
