A Scottish couple decided to go to Spain to thaw out during a particularly icy winter . They planned to stay in the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20yrs earlier . Because of hectic schedules , it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules , so the husband left Glasgow and flew to Barcelona on the Thursday , with his wife flying the following day . The husband checked into the hotel . . . There was a computer in his room , so he decided to send an email to his wife . However he left out one letter in her email address , and without realizing his error , sent the email . Meanwhile somewhere in Blackpool , a widow had just returned from her husbands funeral . He was a minister who died following a heart attack . The widow decided to check her emails , expecting messages from relatives and friends . After reading the first message she screamed and fainted . The widows son rushed into the room , found his mother on the floor , and saw the computer screen which read . To my wife . Subject i've arrived date March 28th 2022. I know your surprised to hear from me , they have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones . I ve just arrived and have been checked in , i see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow , looking forward to seeing you then ! Hope your journey is as smooth as mine was . P s bloody hot down here !!!
So I went into a bar in Spain & there was a huge bulls head on the wall. I said: "That must have been a big bull?" The barman said: "That bull killed my grandfather" I said: "Was he a bullfighter?" He said: "No. He was playing draughts over there and it fell on him”
Is this a blonde Couple Or what.................... A couple was delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption centre called and told them they had a wonderful Japanese baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation. On the way home from the adoption centre, they stopped by the local college so they each could enrol in night courses. After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, "What ever possessed you to study Japanese?" The couple said proudly, "We just adopted a Japanese baby and in a year or so he'll start to talk.............................................. .......... We just want to be able to understand him".
A massive congratulations to Hugh Zappriti Boyden who has been elected president of the British Budgerigar Society.
Got the wife a new coat made out of hamster skin. Took her to the funfair Saturday. Took me 4 hours to get her off the big wheel!!
At the end of the tax year, the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said: "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?" "Good question", noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles." "Oh", replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way: "What about all these biscuit purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?" "Ah, yes", replied the Rabbi, realising that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We collect them and send them back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of holy biscuits." "I see!" replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Rabbi. "Well, Rabbi", he went on, "What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?" “Here, too, we do not waste", answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save up all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office, and once a year they send us a complete prick."
