On the 1st of April all petrol stations will slash 50% off petrol and diesel. It's called April Fuels day....
Husband arrives home late for dinner, disgruntled wife says why are you so late. He says well i was in the yacht club and the President kept insisting on buying me drinks. Why would he do that she said. Well the other day he put a big tear in the sail of his yacht and I managed to find him a replacement. Oh yeah, she said, and where did you manage to find one. In the drawer where you keep your knickers he replied........
So I went into my local workmen's café this morning and said: "Can I have a cold mug of tea, two bits of bacon so hard I can break a tooth, cold baked beans, two cold half cooked eggs and can you make sure the top comes off the salt and don't wash up the knife and fork". The woman serving says: "That sounds disgusting! There is no way we can do that!" I said: "You managed it yesterday!!"
