Paddy's in bed with his wife .Her mobile phone rings at 3am, Paddy answers it then angrily replies "Why don't you feck off, and ring the weather office!" Wife asks "Who was that?". He says "Some knuckle head asking if the coast was clear"
I remember once I was forced to choose between a lifetime supply of Blackpool's finest confectionery, and a lifetime supply of frozen fish. I was stuck between a Rock and a hard plaice........
I am thinking of starting a Elvis Presley themed steak and meat restaurant . Just for those who love meat tender........ .
“Been drinking tonight sir?” The police officer asked me last night. “I had one earlier, but that was all,” I replied. “I think you’ve had a few more than that sir. Would you step out of the van please.” “Why?” I asked. “Because the Postman Pat ride isn’t really designed for adults and there’s children waiting for their go,”
Out of surgery! Had my ear drum replaced with a piece of pig skin! My hearing is great now apart from a little crackling.
