Joe Kinnear facts

Thought I'd make a thread for us to guess what the next slice of bullshit will be to fall out of the mullet wearing cockney's mouth.


I'm going for.....

Apparently Joe Kinnear was first off the landing craft on D Day.....

 

Joe Kinnear was the first man on the moon, achieving the feet in June 1969.

 

Kinnear managed England to the 1966 wolrd cup and then went on to win the Copa America with them the following year

 

Apparently Elvis was flipping burgers until Joe walked into his burger joint in blue suede shoes

 

Joe Kinnear was the inspiration for the stage production, Jesus Christ Superstar. True story.

He's also his own grandson, and invented the term copyright, after some arsewipe called Bill stole a load of his 16th/17th century compositions and took credit for them, though he only slightly tweaked the titles. "Romeo and f***ing Juliet" is so more refined.

 

Did Joe tell Elvis not to stand on his blue suede shoes?

 

Apparently do.

He ordered a burger from Elvis and all of a sudden got.... One for the money....

 

History tells of a potty mouthed mullet wearing Englishman telling the Celts to 'f**k off' on the Scottish border and so heralding the long lasting peace we all know and love

 

Edward Gibbon's first draft of the Fall of the Roman Empire comprised 4 words. "It met Joe Kinnear". However, due to publishing issues, he decided to make a work of fiction instead.

 

He wouldn't get two for the kind of shows he'll be putting on over here.

 

Someone should take out a gagging order against him for crimes against Geordies.

 

Joe Kinnear once challenged Tiote to a fight and floored him with one punch. The fight took place 3 and a half years ago on the day Joe signed him for the club.

 

Its a well known fact that Joe Kinnear was one of the Beatles.
When he left them, the band couldn't go on without him so they split up.

But Joe being a forward thinking man of many talents, he then brought together a group of lads and called them the Sex Pistols.
Apparently until the fateful day met Joe, Johnny Rotten had never sworn in his life.

 

Joes best signing for our club is widely regarded as Robert Lee who he signed from Everton for just £50 in 1990

 

Lee failed to get on with new manager Ruud Gullit, and had his captaincy taken away from him, and didn't even receive a squad number.

JK and Gullit have something in common.

Can't stand either of them. Lee was always a 100% club man.

 

JK created the 'Big Bang' one day when she swore really loudly.

 

We'll send him a gross of Greggs pies everyday and he might go off with a bang.

 

JK once famously said "Ask not what your ****ting football ****ing club can do for you, but what YOU can ****ing do for your twatting football club"

 

He was probably thinking of what it could do for him though.

 

JK taught Jesus how to walk on water.

JK killed off all the dinosaurs in a huge battle after they tried to overturn his reign as ruler of Earth.

The reason the sky is blue is because JK likes it like that.

The only reason we don't swear as much as JK is because we're not as intelligent as him and therefore do not share the same magnificent range of vocabulary.

JK is indeed head and shoulders above all other Directors of Football (because all other Directors of Football were extras in Time Bandits).