So, you have shuffled off this mortal coil in what ever way you have chosen. For me that would have to be aged 105 underneath my 8th wife, Tiffany (18), after the third round a particularly rigourous bout of viagra inspired rumpy-pumpy on our honeymoon in the Zeus suite at Ceasar's Palace in Las Vegas following a whirlwind romance with my new bride after picking her up in the local strip joint the night before. How are you going to go out? Burial, cremation, floated off on a viking long boat with flaming arrows flying into the sunset? Flowers, no flowers, donation to the local hospice? What music will you have at the service? Sinatra's My Way? Robbie Williams Angels? Meatloaf's Bat Out Of Hell? Anyone made plans yet? ER must have as he's the most likely to be found collapsed half hanging off his porta-potty in the maximum security twilight home for alien abductees.
I've told "the wife" that when I die, I should be lumped into a field and let the foxes, ravens and maggots do their worst on me. My 23" erect, rigamortis cock should be severed prior to the dumping, and be placed in a jar of vinegar and handed to the national history museum for further studies.
Stuffed and mounted (fnarr fanrr) in a glass case doing a Bruce Forsyth pose ... If I get a timmy funeral and buried, I want Going Underground played as they lower me in!
I hope to snuff if whilst ****ing aged about 89. My lungs and inner organs will ejaculate through my Jap's eye and that will hopefully be that. No long-drawn out illness, just boomp and gone. Instead of coming, I'll be going. Funeral tune....The Lark Ascending by Ralph Vaughan Williams.
I shall die defending my nation. My ashes will be evenly distributed around - Battle Abbey Charlton Athletic FC The Long Man of Wilmington Hound Tor, Dartmoor Bayham Abbey Dunstanburgh Castle Halidon Hill
