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Off Topic It’s my birthday

Discussion in 'The Premier League' started by Matth_2014, Dec 28, 2018.

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  1. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

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    ****ing his dog off into a spam and egg butty then rubbing Chappie into his foreskin and hoping for the best.
     
    #21
    Tel (they/them), Dec 28, 2018
    Munson owns Fosse, Blueman, PINKIE and 2 others like this.
  2. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    Happy Birthday Matthew.

    Lot's of Love,
    Dad
    xxxxx
     
    #22
    Skylarker, Dec 28, 2018
    Munson owns Fosse, Spurlock, Zanjinho and 4 others like this.
  3. Libby

    Libby Derby County, we're coming for you

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    You have a very troubled mind.
     
    #23
    Libby, Dec 28, 2018
    Spurlock likes this.
  4. Libby

    Libby Derby County, we're coming for you

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    What did you buy him mate?

    New bike?
    New games console?
    New wasp suit?
     
    #24
    Libby, Dec 28, 2018
  5. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

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    Don’t point fingers at me Liebs, I’m just passing on what Matthew put on Twitter.
     
    #25
    Tel (they/them), Dec 28, 2018
    Munson owns Fosse and Skylarker like this.
  6. Libby

    Libby Derby County, we're coming for you

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    #stalker
     
    #26
    Libby, Dec 28, 2018

  7. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    A Hamster with a twitter account.
     
    #27
    Skylarker, Dec 28, 2018
    brb likes this.
  8. Libby

    Libby Derby County, we're coming for you

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    Ah, as something to aspire to?
     
    #28
    Libby, Dec 28, 2018
  9. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    Aren't we all ?
     
    #29
    PINKIE, Dec 28, 2018
  10. Sucky

    Sucky peoples champ & forum saviour

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    Happy birthday pleb
     
    #30
    Sucky, Dec 28, 2018
    Spurlock likes this.
  11. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

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    Matthew spent his birthday honing his skills on his new drone, to have a look in his mum’s en-suite window.

    By 3:30pm just before it got too dark, he hit the jackpot when she dropped the Christmas Dump off, a 3.5lb pipe clogger and he’s been fapping furiously since.

    He’ll pop in soon and let us all know with a new thread.
     
    #31
    Tel (they/them), Dec 28, 2018
    Munson owns Fosse, HRH Custard VC and Sweats like this.
  12. Sweats

    Sweats Sure Forum Moderator

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    <laugh>


    Sympathy like..
     
    #32
    Sweats, Dec 28, 2018
    Libby likes this.
  13. DMD

    DMD Eh? Forum Moderator

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    It's all well and good taking the piss out of Matt, but the average person has sex 89 times a year, so Matt's got one hell of a weekend coming. <ok>
     
    #33
    DMD, Dec 28, 2018
    Blueman and HRH Custard VC like this.
  14. Sweats

    Sweats Sure Forum Moderator

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    I’m not sure which is the unfunnier quip, yours or tels..
     
    #34
    Sweats, Dec 28, 2018
    DMD likes this.
  15. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

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    Definitely his. I only write top quality material.
     
    #35
    Tel (they/them), Dec 28, 2018
    Burly Hurley, Libby, Blueman and 2 others like this.
  16. DMD

    DMD Eh? Forum Moderator

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    To be fair, yours was at least original. I just bastardised a meme.
     
    #36
    DMD, Dec 28, 2018
    Tel (they/them) likes this.
  17. Sweats

    Sweats Sure Forum Moderator

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    Ffs
     
    #37
    Sweats, Dec 28, 2018
  18. DMD

    DMD Eh? Forum Moderator

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    Child bastards are topical during this festive season. <ok>
     
    #38
    DMD, Dec 28, 2018
  19. Sweats

    Sweats Sure Forum Moderator

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    When you say topical do you mean you can spread them over your skin?
     
    #39
    Sweats, Dec 28, 2018
  20. Zanjinho

    Zanjinho Boom! Forum Moderator

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    Happy destruction of your mother's **** day <ok>
     
    #40
    Zanjinho, Dec 28, 2018
    Spurlock likes this.
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