Interview

Got another interview today after only being in this job for around 3 months.

There are 2 posts being advertised. Will be extremely hard though to get anything as 2 temporary staff have been doing the job being advertised for the past year and they have gone for it too.

How the **** am I going to pull this one off?

 

Tell them you're an administrator for a football internet forum, that worked for Ac...... oh wait, it didnt

Just suck some cock mate, you were pretty good at it. Bit more tongue work and you'll be sorted

 

just show them some samples of your exemplary work on SPN , its in the bag

 

Thanks lads. I did put on the application form that I am admin on SPN and that I'm a good cock sucker.

 

tell them u used to be a junkie, and turn the water works on

 

that'll probably work, you'll probably get given a house as well

 

Aye, I might do that but piss myself first.

 

nothing says confidence like a crying man that reeks of piss

 

Do what edward norton did in fight club and beat **** out of yourself and demand a years salary or your accuse them of beating you

Then with the year off learn how not to hit the big red button - dougal

 

Tell him you're one quarter Haitian and go for the sympathy vote

 

When they ask "Why should you get the job & not the other applicants?"

Tell them the agency from whom the temporary staff have come from will be entitled to a pay off should one of the get the job, sometimes up to 20% of the salary. Work out how much that is say, £5000 & give them 5 different things they could do with that £5000 budget.

2.5million paperclips, 18 new colour printers......

 

[video=youtube;JjrGB_ehB88]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjrGB_ehB88[/video]

here's how it will pan out

 

Brum

The 2 'temporary' staff actually work in those precise jobs now that are being advertised. Their contracts are up soon and wont require a pay out!

****s.

 

Just bullshit the interview, I went for 3 promotions in my old job and never got one of them because of my stupid ****ing honesty. Each time I got hijacked by some arse licking halfwit who was nowhere near as good as me, they just knew how to suck cock. Hard work and integrity means absolutely **** all when it comes to these kind of things.

 

This is how I got my job. Theres a lot to be said for being a fake as **** bum-licker. People in management positions like nothing more than getting their ego and balls stroked.

 

the only reason i got the job is cos ma da's the boss. went for a few interviews, one with a rangers top on underneath an adidas tracky top hungover beyond sane, beat that

 

Its a ****ing joke, they really need to get a life. I noticed quickly in this job there was none of that. Everyone seems straight up and honest, its only when high up senior management positions are going when the internal backstabbing starts. When I got promoted it was mentioned in my pay review letter, no interview or anything. Just a handshake and a letter. I actually remember having to "alt + tab" 606 off my screen when my boss approached. Fully deserved eh?

 

Yeah, the guy I report to on the beach (who isn't my boss but the liason for the Oil company) is one of these ****s. You have to bum-lick him or he'll backstab you. Same in the office onshore for my company. The good thing about being a vendor offshore rather than working for the company who owns the platform is that you don't really need to get involved in office politics.

Generally the only problems out here is that it gets a bit like being back at school with all the wee cliques of mates who bum each other up and do each other favours all the time.

 

Muir - it wont matter if there contract is up they'll still have to the pay agency. There are rules in place to stop people walking from a n agency & then returning to their job direct with the employer.

Just keep focussing all your answers on the job you'll be doing, you should have a form with the job duties on. Remember to use examples from your current job & how they relate to what you will be doing should you get it.

 

My Dad is in a big clique of mates who all get each other some cushy contracts. They're all littered around the world but they keep in touch and always do favours for each other. I know most of them pretty well so looking forward to getting plugged into that clique. The Camerons Cartel I call it.

I bet you've got some mates that managed to sort you out with some work, especially if you've done some jobs in West Africa.