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Helmatron

Discussion in 'Liverpool' started by Helmatron, Mar 27, 2012.

  1. Foredeckdave

    Foredeckdave Music Thread Manager

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    Two of the things that my parents taught was was to respect others (until they disrespected you) and not to mock the afflicted
     
    #21
  2. Helmatron

    Helmatron New Member

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    I know I am being a bastard, and point taken, I will stop mocking LFC fans (unless they disrespect The Helmatron first). I was after that other Frank chap but he seems to have given up trying to defeat The Helmatron.

    By the way, my dad taught me how to make a hot air balloon out of an empty can of baked beans, a bin bag and some copper wire. How good is that?!
     
    #22
  3. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

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    Was that yesterday or the day before?
     
    #23
  4. Dark Helmet

    Dark Helmet Active Member

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    The Gerrard/Suarez/Carrol combo against Everton worked really well, and I'd want us to stick with that, or Move Suarez out to the Left to do the job for us that Villa does for Spain and Have Bellers or Kuyt up front with Carrol, i do rate the lad and think he needs the comfort of a regular first team place. He can hold the ball up well and does not just need to be a target man.

    I get riled when Suarez is left up front on his own.

    As for signings, i like the look of Jackson Martinez and Luuk De Jong, both would be cheap and have a high conversion rate, Cavani is a possibility too. We need someone on the right wing, I can't see us getting a Hazard, so I would have a look at Isla from Udinese.
     
    #24
  5. Helmatron

    Helmatron New Member

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    No quite a few years back now, believe it or not I'm 30.

    I know, I look good for my age.
     
    #25
  6. Page_Moss_Kopite

    Page_Moss_Kopite Well-Known Member

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    Ffs Matron if you were chocolate you'd eat yourself.
     
    #26
  7. UIR - Kagawa Powa

    UIR - Kagawa Powa New Member

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    Time to sack Ken Keniff, Steven G and Jamie C.
     
    #27
  8. UIR - Kagawa Powa

    UIR - Kagawa Powa New Member

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    Oh and cash in on both Carroll ( hahahahahahahahahahaha ) and Suarez as one is utter ****e and the other is more trouble than hes worth. You will lose his for 5 games + every season for suspensions imo.
     
    #28
  9. DirtyFrank

    DirtyFrank Well-Known Member

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    Your right mate i know when I'm defeated:my amateur skills are useless for you my friend.

    Anyone that refers to themselves continually in the third person needs professional psychiatric help. Do you swish your cape & put your hands on your hips after you type that?

    Thought you were going to the beach. Ah! That was what the orderly told you would happen if you were a good girl & took the medication. You're really just going to wake up with a sore arse you know!

    And "Mighty"?? I like my WUMS to have originality. So far you've scraped out every old cliche just like I stated in my first response.

    Yip; I'm here all day too:As the boss I get to snatch the good days off: sitting out the front of my modest but rather nice apartment taking in the sun & quiet of my very nice little suburban life. It's quite green here in Ireland you know, trees all around: might be tempted into getting a cold one after lunch, or Head down to the beer garden & do it properly.

    So although I can't help you mate; you go right ahead and keep scraping that barrel. I'm feeling nostalgic: something about bin dippers please.
     
    #29
  10. Helmatron

    Helmatron New Member

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    I tried eating myself when I first hit my teens, doesn't work and I screwed my neck up for a week afterwards. Opted for the various variations of making my arm numb first after that failed exercise. Either that or smearing cat food over my ring piece before jacking off. My cat's name was Sooty. I loved that cat.

    Chocolate is awesome. The chilli and sea-salt variations of the Lindt dark chocolate rule. Do you guys get 'posh' chocolate up there?
     
    #30

  11. UIR - Kagawa Powa

    UIR - Kagawa Powa New Member

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    What the **** is chocolate?
     
    #31
  12. Page_Moss_Kopite

    Page_Moss_Kopite Well-Known Member

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    Yeah,but we dont do at shopping at Lidl like your goodself ma'am.
     
    #32
  13. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

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    Seek help..........................really <ok>
     
    #33
  14. Helmatron

    Helmatron New Member

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    Frank, that simply can't be true, all Liverpool fans live within 5 mins walk of the ground surely?!

    I do actually have a cape, but it's in the wash at the moment, got too excited when I saw the Pool QRP game the other night. Besides, The Helmatron doesn't need a cape to prove my power, everytime I say or type my name some crazy dramatic music plays in my head demonstrating my superhuman powers. Helmatron. Helm-a-tron. See? It's awesome.

    I don't mind a sore arse every now and then to be fair. Having a finger up your bum is a great way to stimulate the prospate gland and double the distance you can shoot your load. But we all already know that, just nobody likes to admit it.
     
    #34
  15. DirtyFrank

    DirtyFrank Well-Known Member

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    You win.

    I can't compete with this absurdity. :D
     
    #35
  16. Helmatron

    Helmatron New Member

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    Don't mock Lidl; that place feeds all the LFC youth teams.

    Who here likes fat birds? Frankyboy, I know you do, be honest. Nothing like putting two fat birds in a paddling pool filled with baby oil and then dropping a single battered mars bar in there for them to fight over. Carnage mate. But awesome fun.

    There any hot fat birds in Ireland?
     
    #36
  17. DirtyFrank

    DirtyFrank Well-Known Member

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    Not since the Great Famine
     
    #37
  18. Helmatron

    Helmatron New Member

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    Shame, you're missing out. If you ever get a chance do it, you'll thank me afterwards. Doesn't need to be a battered mars bar, but it helps if they're northern lasses.

    So were you born and raised in Ireland then? If so why on earth give your heart to LFC? Lunatic. I'll give you the number of my shrink. He's a good guy, always strokes your hair after he's given you the magic sleepy pill.
     
    #38
  19. Dark Helmet

    Dark Helmet Active Member

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    I always find fat birds are a bit like Mopeds, fun to ride til your mates find out.
     
    #39
  20. DirtyFrank

    DirtyFrank Well-Known Member

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    You'll forgive me if I doubt the skills of your current psychiatrist lol.
     
    #40

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