Has anybody...

Always unbuckle the belt then grab long part of belt with left hand place under sack while taking cock out with right hand and proceed to pish.

 

I'm an unbuckler. Anybody who is comfortable pishing through the fly has a small dick.

Troosers open, left thumb hooked over the waistband of my boxers. Member in my right hand and let rip.

 

Only ****s use urinals, especially when drunk.

Nothing more gay than having your cock out with another **** standing next to each other.

Even more gay if you talk.

 

Or write about it on a thread.

 

I like to smile and nod to the guy next to me.

 

For the pansies who are petrified of getting splashed by microscopic particles of pish I believe they now make splash-back free urinals.

Pretty sure they've got them offshore on some Shell platforms because the tea-shack at break time would end-up reeking of pishy boilersuits.

 

Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

 

I also like to sneak into public bogs when no one's looking and have a ****e in the urinal.

 

Not yet but it's on my bucket list

 

Do you like it when your dog rubs itself up against you and wags his tali?

 

Anyone seen a turd in a urinal in a busy pub ?
I can only imagine that the perp was acting out some type of toilet terrorism or really bursting for a forest gump.

 

You'll need to use the bucket to pish and ****e in.

 

My mate shat in a pint glass then left it on a table in the main bar. It was basically chemical warfare.

 

I used to be called Sloppy Joe in my salad days, ah'll make do...

 

There used to be a wee burd who had a habit of drinking every other ****s pint when she thought they wirny looking. Obviously, one day, she ended up drinking a lager ah pished into.

She never done it again

 

FFS

 

He also shat in a santa hat then threw it onto a table full of birds.

He shat out of a second story window while clinging onto the frame. I have a video of it on an old phone, watching a close friend pull faces as he squats out of a window and does a ****e is what I imagine it's like to film a birth...

 

Makes sofa sharting seem very tame indeed.