haha

was out in the back garden last night n i went into the kitchen and left the back door open, in runs one of my neighbours' dogs and it was goin proper mental, jumpin up on the worktops etc and it was goin berzerk so i booted it one and it hobbled out, next thing i you know the fat **** of an owner is round at my door moanin 'you booted my dog' blah blah blah threatening to phone the polis so i says 'aye and i will again if the ****er runs into my house again **** off' n slammed the door. havent heard a peep from the **** since

on a side note me and kirsten are off to crete tomorrow for 2 weeks. need to get packin tonight

what u think of that then

 

You should have cut yourself and said the dog bit you.

Big compo claim and the dogs gets put down, everyones a winner except the pooch

 

Nothing brightens up my afternoon more than a casual tale of animal cruelty.

 

Enjoy Crete ya lucky bassa.

 

It was probably going daft because Kirsten's in heat

 

Kirsten's a funny name for a fella.

 

Was the dug that lucky bitch that escaped Medros clutches

"dad"

 

Is Kirsten gonna let you tramp up Cadbury Crescent in Crete?

 

I think that the fat **** now knows you're away and break in, vandalise your gaff, **** in your sink, steal Kirsten's dirty knickers and let his dugs run riot in your front room for the next two weeks.

That'll teach you to kick my poor wee Rover.

Enjoy Crete.

 

oh **** i think il stay then

cyber, she let me do it before when she was steamin (well never let me - it just slipped in the wrong hole) but nae lube and it was too tight for me to enjoy and left her with piles so nah none of that

 

'

 

Are you going to propose?

 

am i **** haha.

talk to u guys in 2 weeks

 

I had an awfy similar incident which I've revealed on here before.

Popped up Poop Parade cos it was my birthday

Didnae get it beyond the hood of the helmet and gave her the Emma Freud's.

I was once discussing this with a mate who revealed that he popped a viagra (as well as spending all day getting caned) in Amsterdam and then went to see two Asian girls (masquerading as Japanese twins - they were probably Filipino and unrelated).

He says he slipped it intae both of their dungers bawdeep without any issues but the girls were clearly having to work for their money and, eventually, they were tugging away together at it furiously - my mate aware that his time was almost up.

When he came, they allegedly both clapped furiously and went "EEeeeeeeee".

Quite honestly, that sounds like the sexiest thing I can imagine.

 

Is this why your neighbour's cat now wears camouflage in your garden?

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see ye later beale. give kirsten a chokey from the lads

 

Have any of you ****s spotted the cat yet?

 

Aye, big ****ing deal....

 

In front of the rock wall type thing to the right of the mini-path.