Funniest Football Chants

As the Title suggests, what do you think are the funniest football chants you have ever heard?
My top three have all come courtesy of our good friends down at Peterbourough United (my Dad is one of the Posh followers and so I end up going to an awful lot of league 1 games)

3. Peterborough vs Leicester last season. Peterborough equalize to make the score 1-1, and the fans immediately sing 'YOU'RE NOT SINGING ANY MORE!!!' at the Leicester fans. Less than a minute later Leicester re-take the lead, and the loyal Posh pick up the chant 'WE'RE NOT SINGING ANYMORE'...

2. Peterbourough vs us, also last season. This ocurred in an old canal steamer converted into a mostly-away-fans pub. A group of Geordie men, who had obviously been on the fine fenland ale, start to sing the Collocini song. This is fine, until another bloke in the mile long toilet queue begins 'OH COLLOCINI, I'M BURSTING FOR A PEE', and the entire boat bursts out laughing.

1. Peterbourough away vs Tranmere, earlier this season. The Tranmere team are one of ther tallest in League football, and so a lot of jokes were made about this before kick-off. Then, after about an hour, the Tranmere keeper mis-hit a goal kick straight out of the stadium, and one of the Peterborough fans starts to sing 'HOW TALL, DO YOU WANT YOUR TEAM'...

 

You're just a fat Eddie Murphy at Hasselbaink when we played the smoggies

 

Newcastle 3-2 Sunderland

Newcastle fans started singing 'GOING DOWN GOING DOWN GOING DOWN'...Sunderland replied with, 'SO ARE WE SO ARE WE SO ARE WE'

Chelsea 3-4 Newcastle

Chelsea equalise to make it 33, they sing, THATS WHY WE'RE CHAMPIONS'...2 minutes later Ameobi scores the winner...'THAT'S WHY WE'RE CHAMPIONS' we sang.

Cheltenham 0-2 Newcastle

In the second half a bloke came running along the front of the stand advertising half priced burgers at the burger van in the corner, and when one fan took up the offer, the chant was, 'THERE'S ONLY ONE FAT BASTARD'...two, three, four men followed, eventually it was 'THERE'S ONLY 10 FAT BASTARDS'.

 

A few years back, when Dyer was still in our team, just after the scandal with the alleged group sex that had occurred in Dyer's hotel room - but that Dyer had not participated in....

Dyer fluffed a shot, and the chants began:

YOU COULDN'T EVEN SCORE IN A HOTEL!

I had a little chuckle at that one.

 

us vs the smoggies MIDO HE'S GOT A BOMB YOU KNOW hahaha class

 

My all time favourite was Boro vs Arsenal and the Arsenal away support began singing "There's only one job in Teeside" to 'honour' Joseph Desire Job

 

Genius

 

You know she said no. You know she said noooooooooooooooo. Titus Bramble, you know she said no!

;-)

 

You're just a fat kevin nolan!

 

Sunday, Monday, Habib Beye is probably the best ever!

Pissed myself last month at Wigan away too. In the Round Robin we were all singing the Coloccini song then some lads pointed out that their mate had the same hair. The resulting "Two Coloccinis, there's only two Coloccinis...." Was class.

At the time, the "4-1, even Chopra scored" and "Any O'Brien" songs were brilliant!

 

At Reading last year, they started singing 'Premiership, you're having a laugh'
So we came back with 'Championship, you're having a laugh!'
Got a book of football quotes somewhere with a section on chants, some of them are pretty hilarious
'there's only two andy gorrams' after the rangers goalkeeper was diagnosed with a mild form of schizophrenia

 

I remember when we played Portsmouth in the F.A Cup a few years back and they a only brought a handful of fans. Can't remember how the chant went, was something about a mini bus.

 

Not chants but funny anyway...

when John Beresford came back to St James as a southampton player. Came on as a sub and got he loudest cheer I have ever heard given to an away player. Then had the rest of the match getting the loudest Boos I've ever heard. The cameras even showed him laughing at one point.

also the Sheff Wed fans at Sir Bobby's first game. I couldn't hear them cos there were only about 27 of them and they were about 12 miles away at the top of the stand. Everytime we scored they just started jumping up and down and dancing even more. They must have been knackered when it got to 8-nil. The dancing would stop for literally one second when a goal went in and start again. It was even funnier cos we couldn't hear anything. Full credit to them. Quality display by the fans on a bad day for their team.

 

Sheffield away last year, some poor kid working as a steward had jet black hair and round rimmed gegs on.
Cue chants of, "Potter, gis a wave, Potter Potter gis a wave."
When he laughed it off and did, we all started chanting, "There's only one Harry Potter!"

Also think it was either the same match or Doncaster, some fit bird was working as a steward and cue the normal chants of get your tits out for the lads. Then this old & lets say large woman turns up to replace her and people start chanting it at her.
One of the blokes next to me then shouts, "Hey that's my wife!" then pauses for a while and says a bit quieter, "It's a thyroid problem...." - probably not that funny if you weren't there, but it just reminded me of the banter back home including when randoms just start having patter in the street, don't really get that anywhere else!

 

Catchy.

 

lets hope the minibus was catchy...its a long walk back to portsmouth

 

This is one of my dad's favourites:

Steve Howey Steve Howey Steve Howey
Your brother is a ****

 

"You're not laughing anymore!" at the villa fans during the 6-0 game was just the sweetest chant I've ever heard.

"If Shola scores we're on the pitch" always makes me giggle too.

 

You just raped that song. Totally wrong mate.

 

LOL was he attempting the Ohhhhhhh Marlon she said nooooo song?

*I say Marlon because i live in coventry and i always hear it about Marlong King