1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

First Shag

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by GroveRanger, Jun 30, 2016.

  1. GroveRanger

    GroveRanger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2011
    Messages:
    14,577
    Likes Received:
    9,374
    Archers was in Shirley as opposed to with a bird called Shirley, unless of course her name was Shirley which would be awesome.

    Mine was above a shop in Greenford with (you won't believe this) an older bird.
     
    #1
  2. The Anilingus Aficionado

    The Anilingus Aficionado Official POTY 2011, 2014, 2015, 2018 & 2023

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2011
    Messages:
    35,109
    Likes Received:
    46,484
    I was 24. I had courted Julie for years and despite sleeping with most of my pals, she kept me waiting as she knew I was the 'one'.

    Sadly, since that first shag, I've realised that I am a latent marmite miner and cannot get enough cock inside my dilapidated rusty bullet hole.
     
    #2
  3. User Deleted

    User Deleted Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2010
    Messages:
    8,978
    Likes Received:
    5,297
    i was 9 and there was these two hot american students living next door so i nailed em both

    still in contact with one of them the other one is sadly no longer with us rip
     
    #3
  4. DUNCAN DONUTS

    DUNCAN DONUTS SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2015
    Messages:
    67,260
    Likes Received:
    53,506
    Foxy Noxy
     
    #4
  5. pompeymeowth

    pompeymeowth Prepare for trouble x Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    25,628
    Likes Received:
    15,562
    Tomato Greenhouse on Selsey Bill. Probably the same for most of the locals, there are about a million square feet of greenhouses there.

    They weren't Cherry tomatoes, but great big beef, salad ones.
     
    #5
  6. Da Original M.D 20/20

    Da Original M.D 20/20 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2015
    Messages:
    1,355
    Likes Received:
    1,845
    14, in a tent, with a bird actually called Shirley.
     
    #6
    Girvan Loyal 1690 likes this.

  7. DUNCAN DONUTS

    DUNCAN DONUTS SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2015
    Messages:
    67,260
    Likes Received:
    53,506
    You do realise this is all going in GroveRangers **** bank ?
     
    #7
  8. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2010
    Messages:
    63,752
    Likes Received:
    13,027
    When I worked as a gardener at the estate of some local toffs, the Lady of the house took a shine to me as her husband was paralysed from the waist down. Our first tender embrace took place in the greenhouse when I was but 16.
     
    #8
    Archers Road likes this.
  9. pompeymeowth

    pompeymeowth Prepare for trouble x Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    25,628
    Likes Received:
    15,562
    Have you been at the D.H. Lawrence again?
     
    #9
  10. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2010
    Messages:
    63,752
    Likes Received:
    13,027
    Aye

    :emoticon-0120-doh:
     
    #10
  11. Girvan Loyal 1690

    Girvan Loyal 1690 Nobody's safe now

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2011
    Messages:
    40,526
    Likes Received:
    17,744
    Still waiting
     
    #11
    Patience, rogueleader, Null and 2 others like this.
  12. gas

    gas ACCOUNT DELETED Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2011
    Messages:
    19,124
    Likes Received:
    6,716
    15 Some slag on the bathroom floor at a party.
     
    #12
  13. A.L.D.O 4.1

    A.L.D.O 4.1 1 of the top defendants in Europe

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2013
    Messages:
    55,385
    Likes Received:
    30,571
    14 in Silloth with a burd who was 18. She had pubes and everything.

    She also had a wee jack Russell that bit me on the ankle on the way up to her bedroom.

    ****.
     
    #13
  14. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2010
    Messages:
    60,564
    Likes Received:
    18,215
    16, caravan in Great Yarmouth
     
    #14
  15. Girvan Loyal 1690

    Girvan Loyal 1690 Nobody's safe now

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2011
    Messages:
    40,526
    Likes Received:
    17,744
    Ma arse. That's what ****s used to say aw the time.
     
    #15
  16. Fabulous Fabio

    Fabulous Fabio Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2010
    Messages:
    18,109
    Likes Received:
    12,564
    If it wasn't at a caravan park then it was up their grans bit.
     
    #16
    Gambol, Null and Girvan Loyal 1690 like this.
  17. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2010
    Messages:
    63,752
    Likes Received:
    13,027
    I thought that said Shiloh at first and thought to myself **** me I didn't know Aldo fought in the American civil war.
     
    #17
  18. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2010
    Messages:
    63,752
    Likes Received:
    13,027
    please log in to view this image
     
    #18
    Patience and rogueleader like this.
  19. Girvan Loyal 1690

    Girvan Loyal 1690 Nobody's safe now

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2011
    Messages:
    40,526
    Likes Received:
    17,744
    Mad gambol telt that story so many times he actually believes it noo :laugh:
     
    #19
    Gambol likes this.
  20. Ponders Revisited

    Ponders Revisited Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2011
    Messages:
    11,273
    Likes Received:
    8,219
    :eek:
     
    #20

Share This Page