I have complained I must confess. I took a day off work to take collection of my new Sony 46" HDTV a few years back. They failed to turn up. I was ****ing livid for some reason and decided to ring their complaints department. I went ****ing ballistic over the phone like a complete bellend. Much to my surprise they took the unusual step of starting to offer me things. It started at a DVD player. Moved on to anything to the value of £100 on the Sony website (to be fair this was a **** offer because I couldn't find anything those robbing bastards were selling that cheap). Now obviously I spotted an angle pretty early on. They had accepted they were in the wrong, and had subsequently gone to print admitting this when I backed up my complaint through email. I immediately decided a bit of brinkmanship was in order. When they wouldn't play ball, I said I wanted to go higher (I know, what a knob) and got in contact with Sony Europe. Some dutch bird then started a bit of back and forth over the email before ringing me up. She said "is there nothing you will accept as a goodwill gesture from us instead of requesting to be renumerated with your claimed lost pay?" I confirmed that my young laddie (I don't have one) was quite keen on those PS3's or whatever they're called. At first she said no but when I persisted in asking for the money, she caved in. Asking for an extra controller and some free games so we could experience it as a father and son fell on deaf ears though. Sold it the lasses mother as an Xmas present for the younguns not long later. So complaining is not always a bad thing and I would sign any petition or complaint to get more titties on TV. Even girls love titties on TV. Just to get the mans juices flowing before bedtime.
This is cool. You paid your money, you didn't get your ****. The type of complaining I was ,erm, complaining about would be if you contributed to a nationwide fund for the HDTV. There were 100 channels so you didn't need to watch everything but some of the things on certain channels revolved around scatty porn. Now, you've always hated jobbies so, instead of concentrating on the 99 other scat-free channels, you decide to complain about the 1% of channels that loves jobbies. Thereby, denying honest keech-lovers an outlet simply because you objected to funding it or it even existing in the first place. This analogy is ****ing terrible - even by my standards. I think I was trying to say: Funbags = good Motorsport = felching.
Dear BBC, I'd like to complain about the series 'Grumpy Old Men' and the seemingly interminable bastard children that it's spawned. While the first few shows were vaguely amusing, it quickly ran out of original material and became a tedious mopefest. By the time 'Grumpy Old Women' came along, I had developed an active hatred for the format. If I wanted to listen to a constant diatribe against the small inconveniences of modern living, I could ring my parents. Please stop making these bloody programmes or I will come round personally and throw my telly through the Director General's window. Regards, Mr. Miserable-old-Duffer, Tunbridge Wells P.S. This is not an audition to appear on the show.
I complained about a fish supper I bought the other week in Helensburgh. I bought my supper and when I got outside I opened it up to discover I had about 10 chips. Shocking. I went back in and asked the guy "Is this fish fresh?". "Of course" replied greasy Tony. "I thought so" said your correspondent "It's eaten half my ****ing chips".
I wrote to Ofcom to complain about the phone sex ads in the back of an art pamphlet I bought. The advert clearly stated 30 Second **** but I'd finished my jostle in 19 seconds, thus being owed a full 11 second refund. At the charge rate quoted I was due approximately 45p back. I have yet to be given a reply.
Chancer hasn't realised that we take turns getting Dev into debate so that he doesn't have time to inflict his jokes.
