Just had a call on my mobile from some claims company asking about some fictitious accident that's 'on their database'. They were sent packing with the usual, hearty '**** off, scumbag.' I'm now beginning to regret my hastiness and feel there was probably some fun to be had by stringing them along with some bullshit of my own. Does anyone have any creative ideas for winding up these irritating ****s?
That's a great idea for you Beale, but rap isn't really my bag. I was thinking about telling them I'd had my buttocks sliced off by a falling pane of glass. If they go along with it, I'll try to use the word 'buttocks' as often as possible, and talk about the pros and cons of different models of prosthetic buttocks. I find the word 'buttocks' inherently amusing.
I usually invite them in and give them a warm bowl of soup laced with sedatives. When they wake up - naked - in my Rape dungeon, they seldom complain about the cold.
If I get a call about a car accident, I've decided to talk about a head-on collision I was involved in. I'll drop increasingly less subtle hints and see how pissed off they are when they realise I've been talking about bumping into someone on the dodgems.
I act all indignant and ask "who the bloody hell told you a badger bit my penis off?". Usually does the trick.
I simply never answer number withheld calls, or calls from numbers I don't recognise. Problemo el solvo.
It's just happened again and my best laid plans went out the window. I asked the young lady if she'd like to suck my dick. She replied that that wasn't very nice. I asked, 'What? Badgering people on the phone with made up ****e?' She hung up.
