NW "Look at these two fine South American examples and take a leaf out of their book, matthew get a shave, Jay pull your finger out, smithy get a hair cut and Shaun get your arse back into those shorts and wake up Curly, Apart from that remember to enjoy yourselves on Saturday and give the fans a treat"
"Right you lot, here's the plan. Shaun, I want you to start stretching things in mid-field and, Jay, get your bloody finger out son"
"Try that again Jay and I'll slap the other cheek" Or keith Curle thinking, "I'm soooo bored, he says the same thing every year and they still fall for it"
NW: "Look, son, I don't care if you and Shaun did spend last night on the Graham Norton show you still got to train like everybody else." please log in to view this image Graham in his QPR fan outfit
Don't give me "oh it hurts" Bothroyd, you need to learn to respect our senior players. If Shaun says bend over you'll do it and bloody well enjoy it in future.
"The feds say you and Sean nicked a box of Alka Seltzer each, Both. Now for the last time, where did you hide them?"
" I promise you lads, I **** you not ... If you don't perform ... He'll come over from Dublin and you will feel the full force of Pork Swords Hoopster
Nw: "sean, pull your shorts out, you know, at t' back, that's it, good lad, now jay, if you can flick t' ball into seans shorts from where you are now, we'll pay you the wages you were after. Fook it up, and your playing centre back with faulin til christmas"