Shortening the pitch to this length would have two advantages - Coloccini could stay a lot closer to their centre forward and I can open up a Sports Direct Megastore on the rest.
Mike - You've got some neck coming here when you've put this ****e on the pitch Penfold - Come now Mike I clearly haven't got a neck. Three chins yes, but no neck.
Ashley - "How long does it take you to make me a ****ing pot of tea, you useless little pygmy!!" Penfold - "I'm sorry Mike............ I'll go straight away............. there's **** all chance of us scoring!!"