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Banjo

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Jip Jaap Stam, Nov 17, 2014.

  1. Jip Jaap Stam

    Jip Jaap Stam General Chat Moderator
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    There are two types of men in this world. Those whose banjo string is unscathed, and those who have witnessed the horror of their todger spewing blood at the hands of an overly-enthusiastic partmer.

    To which group do you belong? I split mine 11 years ago.
     
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  2. The Raging Oxter

    The Raging Oxter Well-Known Member

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    Never happened to me but then I don't seem to have dated 20 stone munters with arms like grizzly bears that you and bib seem to have an attraction to.
     
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  3. Girvan Loyal 1690

    Girvan Loyal 1690 Nobody's safe now

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    no got a banjo
     
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  4. Jip Jaap Stam

    Jip Jaap Stam General Chat Moderator
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    It can also happen if the bird's very tight but not sufficiently lubricated <savile>
     
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  5. Otto Flayshow

    Otto Flayshow Well-Known Member

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    I'm firmly in the frenulum intactus camp. I almost wish this was the sub-ER, 70s chocolate bar nostalgia thread that I thought it was going to be.
     
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  6. SUPERNORWICH 23

    SUPERNORWICH 23 SUPERNORWICH

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    I snipped mine with a pair of fold up key ring Christmas cracker scissors when I was 17 , my member seemed to get more girth as a result .:emoticon-0114-dull:
    True story , I also heated up a safety pin on a gas cooker and put it through my right nipple .:emoticon-0119-puke:
     
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  7. - jordan -

    - jordan - Active Member

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    But did you finish the job?
     
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  8. Ponders Revisited

    Ponders Revisited Well-Known Member

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    My banjo string constitutes around 85% of my entire appendage.

    If I cut it off, I'd be left with a legless millipede.

    :(
     
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  9. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    Snapped mine when I was 16 or 17.

    Scary as ****. Blood pishin oot everywhere while your frantically think unsexy thoughts to get yer stupid libido to stop pumpin blood into yer stauner.

    Didny help that she panicked and was jumping around with her tits swinging about.

    Is it wrong that I found the specks of blood that hit her diddies arousing?
     
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  10. Jip Jaap Stam

    Jip Jaap Stam General Chat Moderator
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    Did I ****. If your banjo goes, then as long as you've got a hard-on, you'll gush like a slit throat. Your cock wilts automatically to stop you bleeding out. If you'd taken a viagara, you'd be ****ed.

    The only time I've seen more blood is when the missus gave birth. Truly horrific, but it was the making of me.
     
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  11. Ponders Revisited

    Ponders Revisited Well-Known Member

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    Not if you're Peter Sutcliffe.
     
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  12. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    Oooft, sounds right sore, thankfully it's never happened to me. <yikes>
     
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  13. - jordan -

    - jordan - Active Member

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    Yikes. Touch wood (literally of course) it's never happened to me, although my stomach always drops when it slips out and crashes against her on the next thrust. She was on top I presume?
     
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  14. Mind The Duck

    Mind The Duck Well-Known Member

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    You poor buggers
     
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  15. Fabulous Fabio

    Fabulous Fabio Well-Known Member

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    Never happened to me.

    It happened to my mate though and he was told if it didn't heal on it's own or if it happened again then he'd be best getting circumcised. No idea how this story turned out though, can't say that I often ask my mates how their dick is getting on.
     
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  16. gas

    gas ACCOUNT DELETED
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    Mines in tact. I think to those who've snapped it's because your not getting her wet enough before you pump her. Either that or, more probably, mines fine cos every fanny I've ever pumped has already been stretched. :D
     
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  17. - jordan -

    - jordan - Active Member

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    or you have a small cock
     
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  18. Jip Jaap Stam

    Jip Jaap Stam General Chat Moderator
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    No. She was bladdered and more up for it than her fanny would allow.

    Apparently that it is true. A mate of mine had to have the full circumcision. Ten years later and he blows his own head off with a shotgun. Coincidence? I hope so.

    I am genuinely disappointed. Thought you'd be a definite snappee.
     
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  19. SUPERNORWICH 23

    SUPERNORWICH 23 SUPERNORWICH

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    Readers wives.
     
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  20. Null

    Null Well-Known Member
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    What happened to Jew?
     
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