1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Off Topic Alcoholism

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by surreyhoop, Jun 2, 2015.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Page 1 of 3
  1. surreyhoop

    surreyhoop Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2012
    Messages:
    1,456
    Likes Received:
    1,612
    Guys, in view of the sad news about Charles Kennedy, I wanted to ask for some advice about alcohol addiction. I have been struggling for a couple of years and am in the middle of a divorce as a result of my drinking. All a bit of a mare as I have a 4 yr old son, and have lost contact with alot of my friends over the years as we all got married and older with kids... Obviously I need some help, but does anyone have any constructive advice? ( apart from give up the sauce! ) Thanks guys in advance and don't want to put a downer on things, relegation enough!
     
    #1
    surreyhoop, Jun 2, 2015
  2. Steelmonkey

    Steelmonkey Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2011
    Messages:
    25,385
    Likes Received:
    48,590
    Sorry to hear about your difficulties pal - I'm no expert, but I believe you've made the first step in admitting to yourself that you have an issue - this is one of the hardest steps to make. Seek professional help from your GP, and find local support groups.

    Keep your head up mate and keep smiling - it may not feel like it, but there are many others who's life is a whole lot ****ter than yours.
     
    #2
    Steelmonkey, Jun 2, 2015
    Didley Squat and UTRs like this.
  3. UTRs

    UTRs Senile Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2013
    Messages:
    34,351
    Likes Received:
    74,269
    Surrey,

    Really sorry to hear of your situation mate. You are already on the right path by admitting you may have a problem and wanting to try and nip it in the bud.

    I'm sorry I can't offer you any advise, I won't pretend to be an expert on addictions.

    Sorry if this sounds patronizing but all I will say is stay strong, I'm sure you can fix this!
     
    #3
    UTRs, Jun 2, 2015
    fusari805 and Steelmonkey like this.
  4. fusari805

    fusari805 Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2014
    Messages:
    69
    Likes Received:
    27
    Brave post surrey hoop and hope this is not belittled by posters on here. It's a lot harder than people assume it would be, local groups like AA or CA are an option but not the right form of action for everybody, my mum and grandad were both drink dependant and CA has had her sober for over 4 years. CA (cocaine anonymous) is not drug specific and people that have never touched cocaine are welcomed, it's purely treating an addiction, rather than a specific substance. Wish you the best and will offer any constructive help I can
     
    #4
    fusari805, Jun 2, 2015
    Steelmonkey likes this.
  5. KooPeeArr

    KooPeeArr Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2011
    Messages:
    5,903
    Likes Received:
    2,260
    That's incredibly brave to admit Surrey and definitely a step in the right direction.

    The above advice is the most sensible advice (GP and groups).

    I haven't been there but was on a slope downwards. I now only have 8 units a week usually but it took a long time for me to break away from certain habits (needing shots to sleep etc) but limiting opportunity is a step (we deliberately don't keep spirits in the house).

    You have to be honest with yourself and know what is a positive move and what is an excuse not to make that move.

    Good luck and stay brave.
     
    #5
    KooPeeArr, Jun 2, 2015
    Steelmonkey, fusari805 and UTRs like this.
  6. aqualung

    aqualung Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2014
    Messages:
    2,196
    Likes Received:
    744
    Sorry to hear about your situation surrey...full respect to you for airing your issue on here. Cannot offer any advice in all honesty as I don't touch the stuff, but wish you all the best and hope you can get the best help and advice available. Cheers matey.<cheers>
     
    #6
    aqualung, Jun 2, 2015
  7. seagullhoop

    seagullhoop Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 23, 2011
    Messages:
    1,796
    Likes Received:
    820
    Kudos to you for speaking about it - as others have said, the first step is to admit to yourself that you might have a problem - there is help out there, have a look at the NHS Choices website which has sound advice and details about alcohol related problems - you are not alone in having a problem, but most people prefer to ignore it or kid themselves that they have it under control... See the Alcohol Concern site - the statistics speak for themselves.

    Stay strong!
     
    #7
    seagullhoop, Jun 2, 2015
  8. KentGaz

    KentGaz Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2011
    Messages:
    2,635
    Likes Received:
    1,934
    Surrey, sorry I can't offer any advice (other than what's already been suggested) but you have my respect for your brave post.
    I hope you find the help you need.
     
    #8
    KentGaz, Jun 2, 2015
  9. Ciarrai_Abu

    Ciarrai_Abu Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2011
    Messages:
    8,101
    Likes Received:
    2,007
    I can't offer any words of advice on addiction but I have been through a marriage breakdown. There is merit in the talking cure and you have taken the first step. Opening up to others is important and you will find people will be keen to help you in whatever way they can.
     
    #9
    Ciarrai_Abu, Jun 2, 2015
  10. durbar2003

    durbar2003 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2013
    Messages:
    4,828
    Likes Received:
    2,394
    !
     
    #10
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2015
    durbar2003, Jun 2, 2015

  11. UTRs

    UTRs Senile Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2013
    Messages:
    34,351
    Likes Received:
    74,269
    Durbar,

    Please would you consider deleting that very insensitive post.

    It's your call, if you decide not to then I advise you put on your best tin hat ASAP.
     
    #11
    UTRs, Jun 2, 2015
    Belfasthoop, KooPeeArr, Steelmonkey and 1 other person like this.
  12. QPRCate

    QPRCate Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 22, 2014
    Messages:
    220
    Likes Received:
    447
    Surrey to admit that you have a problem is part way to solving it. This week I started a new job with Addaction a charity with government funding for people with drink and drug issues. They are nationwide do not appear to follow the traditional AA twelve step programme but seem to have amazing results. I have been shocked and inspired by what I have seen in only the last two days alone, I can only suggest you google Addaction to see if there is a local group near you.

    I wish you the best of luck in seeking the help and support you need.
     
    #12
    QPRCate, Jun 2, 2015
    Belfasthoop, Sooperhoop, QPR999 and 2 others like this.
  13. surreyhoop

    surreyhoop Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2012
    Messages:
    1,456
    Likes Received:
    1,612
    Thanks guys, even Durbar! I'm sure was meant in jest. Currently on my 3rd bottle of wine but can still type!
     
    #13
    surreyhoop, Jun 2, 2015
  14. durbar2003

    durbar2003 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2013
    Messages:
    4,828
    Likes Received:
    2,394
    It was
     
    #14
    durbar2003, Jun 2, 2015
    UTRs likes this.
  15. UTRs

    UTRs Senile Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2013
    Messages:
    34,351
    Likes Received:
    74,269
    I would like to say sorry to Durbar! I have no beef with you mate, I just bit as I though it was unnecessary.

    Peace!
     
    #15
    UTRs, Jun 2, 2015
  16. durbar2003

    durbar2003 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2013
    Messages:
    4,828
    Likes Received:
    2,394
    Peas!
     
    #16
    durbar2003, Jun 2, 2015
    UTRs likes this.
  17. surreyhoop

    surreyhoop Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2012
    Messages:
    1,456
    Likes Received:
    1,612
    This alcohol is a bitch....
     
    #17
    surreyhoop, Jun 2, 2015
    fusari805 likes this.
  18. surreyhoop

    surreyhoop Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2012
    Messages:
    1,456
    Likes Received:
    1,612
    What's worse guys is that my tolerance level is now really high. 3 bottles of wine is like 27 or 30 units but I can cope with that quite easily
     
    #18
    surreyhoop, Jun 2, 2015
  19. QPR999

    QPR999 Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2011
    Messages:
    21,880
    Likes Received:
    19,377
    Surreyhoop, It's incredibly brave of you to post a thread on what is probably one of the hugest issues for a person to admit to. It's also a huge testament to our forum members that you feel you can trust them to help you with what is a very sensitive concern. I hope they can oblige with the respect it deserves as the many posters above already have.

    First of all...and I don't expect you to answer these questions on here, they're rhetorical and just me thinking out loud to maybe just to add some clarity. Have you made any attempts to quit or cut down your drinking either on your own or with professional help?

    Which end of the spectrum are you at? I would imagine that would range from having a few drinks most evenings to drinking from the moment you wake and continuing until you go to sleep.

    Do you want to cut down or give up completely. ( Maybe the first option is the first port of call, so to speak.)

    Is your dependency physical, mental or both?

    Depending on your answers and having established where you are, you need to decide what level of help you may need. It may just be that you can go it alone and make small changes that over a period of time add up and you can achieve the desired result. If you feel that you need expert advice there is an abundance of sources that can help, a quick google search should throw up lots of different therapies and choices.

    One extreme case that I know of was someone I worked with. He's recently retired. About ten years ago he came to work at our station in a non operational capacity. We got chatting and I asked him why he was on 'light duties.'
    ''I'm an alcoholic.'' he replied
    He then voluntarily told me his story. Here's one example... He used to come off of a night shift and head for the pub. On his way to the pub he would buy a half bottle of vodka from the 'offy' and drink this en-route to the boozer to get warmed up. He would then remain there all day continuously drinking until 5.45 when he would have to stop as he had to get back to the station for his second night shift. It didn't end there either, he would continue drinking on *duty* and this cycle would become even more protracted on his days off!
    It was only when he got arrested when in one of his drunken stupors he tried to kill his wife by setting fire to his own house! ( Although he claims that he doesn't remember any of this. ) He was arrested and of course the brigade got involved and entered him into one of our rehab centres. He amazingly kept his job came back on full duties and has never touched a drop since and doesn't even give alcohol a second thought any more.

    I only tell this tale as it is to my mind a very extreme case and if he could do it I'd hope that most people can.

    I wish you all the best mate and really hope that you can do this.

    * Drinking on duty has now been banned from the London Fire Brigade. Random alcohol and drugs testing are now regularly carried out.
     
    #19
    QPR999, Jun 2, 2015
    UTRs and Steelmonkey like this.
  20. surreyhoop

    surreyhoop Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2012
    Messages:
    1,456
    Likes Received:
    1,612
    I'm at the top end 9's. Funnily enough i only drink wine ( no beers or spirits in my middle age!) But I can quite happily have my first drink early. Not going to kill the wife though!
     
    #20
    surreyhoop, Jun 2, 2015
Page 1 of 3
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page