Off Topic Sexual Self Abuse

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Windom Earle

Windom Earle

Well-Known Member
Sep 16, 2016
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Sadly It's on the increase

Starting with me of course I am a wonker but who else out there is guilty

My starter for ten

Piers Morgan is a ****er

Next ...
 
Any twat who uses their smartphones to browse the not-so-savoury pages and also who uses it with Dating Apps and staring at psycho birds on Instagram and Snapchat etc. It's all a total mind-feck <laugh> and the highest self-abuse of any category as it's about the brain, the highest sexual sensor :emoticon-0130-devil
 
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YappyR said:
Any twat who uses their smartphones to browse the not-so-savoury pages and also who uses it with Dating Apps and staring at psycho birds on Instagram and Snapchat etc. It's all a total mind-feck <laugh> and the highest self-abuse of any category as it's about the brain, the highest sexual sensor :emoticon-0130-devil
Click to expand...
You sound very knowledgeable on this topic.
 
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finglasqpr said:
Jeez Dave. What a topic to discuss. Sounds like you are very bored.
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Not at all working hard here
Background news story about Piers Morgan slagging off a winner on the jungle show

Now I have met him two or three times when we young and he was doing everything then to become famous. I worked with a man who was neighbours with him and when I met him he was a giant ****ter
 
QPR Oslo said:
I think she's Margaret Thatcher's sister. Whichever way up.
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Now now MT made it very clear that she was not for turning although she did admit to growing a small penis in between her breasts

TM (the clue is in the initials) could be the result of self impregnation ... not impossible in a downward dog position
 
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I can remember my very first sexual experience.



It was terrifying.



It was dark and I was on my own. :)
 
I rather strangely found myself lurking in the shadows earlier this evening, reminiscent of a Haymarket Hector. When all of a sudden I was propositioned by a voice in the dark ... ''What sort of Brexit would you like?'' begged the question from an alleyway a mere ten yards away.
I pondered this for a moment. I looked right and I looked left, I stroked my chin in ponderous thought and gazed at the stars on this crisp and cold December night.

After some degree of perilous indignation I declared that I would prefer a soft or flaccid Brexit, whereas a big and hard Brexit might deem itself far too painful.
 
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QPR999 said:
I rather strangely found myself lurking in the shadows earlier this evening, reminiscent of a Haymarket Hector. When all of a sudden I was propositioned by a voice in the dark ... ''What sort of Brexit would you like?'' begged the question from an alleyway a mere ten yards away.
I pondered this for a moment. I looked right and I looked left, I stroked my chin in ponderous thought and gazed at the stars on this crisp and cold December night.

After some degree of perilous indignation I declared that I would prefer a soft or flaccid Brexit, whereas a big and hard Brexit might deem itself far too painful.
Click to expand...

That conjured up some Bowie musical accompaniment:-

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Kilburn said:
That conjured up some Bowie musical accompaniment:-

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Two great tracks there, Kilburn. I hadn't heard Shadow Man before. Haunting, particularly listening now, with Bowie gone and after all the years since it was written.
 
SADLY I WAS TOP WXXXXXX BUT UNFORTUNATELY AT 62 YEARS OF AGE IM LEFT WITH A BUTTON MUSHROOM
I WENT TO THE DOCTOR GET SOME VIAGRA I WAS SO EXITED LAYING THERE IN THE BEDROOM
BUT TO MY GREAT SADNESS NOT EVEN A LITTLE REACTION
THATS I T I THOUGHT THE END OF ANY SEXUAL ACTION
SO NOW I DRIVE AS POORLY AS I CAN SO PEOPLE WILL SCREAM AT ME AT THE TOP OF THERE VOICE YOU WXXXER
I FEEL LIKE DRIVING DOWN TO BEACHY HEAD AND TYING MY PRIVATES TO AND ANCHOR
SAYING GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD,ITS SO SO VERY SAD
ANYWAY ENOUGH OF ME DOES ANYBODY ELSE HERE SUFFER LIKE THIS I HOPE ITS NOT JUST ME THAT WOULD BE SAD
OVER TO YOU KIWI
ARE YOU THE SAME OR IS IT JUST ME
 
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