Humour to lighten things the **** up

"Would the Congregation please note that the bowl at the back of the Church, labelled "For The Sick", is for monetary donations only.'

'Will the person who took a slice of cake from the Commissioner's Office return it immediately. It is needed as evidence in a poisoning case.'

"A young girl, who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth, was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coast-guard spokesman commented, "This sort of thing is all too common these days."'


'A sex line caller complained to Trading Standards. After dialling an 0891 number from an advertisement entitled "Hear Me Moan" the caller was played a tape of a woman nagging her husband for failing to do jobs around the house. Consumer Watchdogs in Dorset refused to look into the complaint, saying, "He got what he deserved."'

"We apologise for the error in the last edition, in which we stated that 'Mr Fred Nicolme is a Defective in the Police Force'. This was a typographical error. We meant of course that Mr Nicolme is a Detective in the Police Farce."

"After being charged 20 pounds for a 10 pounds overdraft, 30 year old Michael Howard of Leeds changed his name by deed poll to "Yorkshire Bank Plc are Fascist Bastards". The Bank has now asked him to close his account, and Mr Bastards has asked them to repay the 69p balance by cheque, made out in his new name."
From The Manchester Evening News:

"Police called to arrest a naked man on the platform at Piccadilly Station released their suspect after he produced a valid rail ticket."

 

Die asap.

 

You try it first and then Dev can see how that goes.

 

Why do you always hang around like an ugly fart waiting to quote my every post?

 

Why do you go onto every single thread Dev posts and whine like a hungry bitch?

 

Why do you give a ****?

 

Why do you care if I quote your posts?

 

Because they're my posts and I have absolutely no interest in interacting with you. You're a tedious pseudo-intellectual ****wit

 

But you feel the same way about Dev yet follow his postings like a toddler following their daddy.

 

I enjoy making his life slightly worse (it's ****ed already as it is), it helps my day go by.

He also attempts to start an argument with me on every thread I post on

Just to know, what does his rectum taste like? It seems to be a popular flavour amongst the dregs of society on here.

 

Hello what's this? My irony buzzer just went off when you posted this ON MY THREAD.

 

You must have a very troubled mind if you feel the need to get involved with Dev so much. I truly pity you and everyone who has to deal with you. Get better soon eh.

 

This went well.

 

You do exactly the same ****ing thing to me you halfwit

 

So wtf does that say about you? You yap along at me every ****ing day.

Go chat to Fan or GR

 

How many threads have you started in the last year?

 

I've been back here about 3 weeks. Conceited much?

 

Can you read? Where did I mention how long you've been doing it?

None of you ****s understands the English language ffs

 

Naw

 

How is that relevant?

Every ****ing time, Dev whataboutery