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Off Topic My videos - ( NSFW )

Discussion in 'The Premier League' started by Matth_2014, Sep 20, 2016.

  1. Stan

    Stan Stalker

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    I hate our cats. They're complete con artists.
     
    #361
  2. Spurlock

    Spurlock Homeboy Forum Moderator

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    #362
  3. Treble

    Treble Keyser Söze

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    Our cat of 16 years passed away last year, which devastated the littluns tbh. So I got another kitten to help them get over it. He's a loveable little rogue but doesn't like sudden noises or to sit on anyone's lap. Clearly something happened in his first few months that's affected him, but the RSPCA (where we got him from) haven't told us what.

    @Matth_2014 probably has something to do with it, having just heard what he's said about going down on cats. Might have to report him for beastiality and contact the RSPCA.
     
    #363
  4. Spurlock

    Spurlock Homeboy Forum Moderator

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    I'm a bit stoned and watching between 1.05 and 1.22 was trippy @Matth_2014

    I got to agree P<laugh>gba is a fanny.
     
    #364
    Skylarker likes this.
  5. Stan

    Stan Stalker

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    We got 2 cats when we bought our first house. They were 5 years old, one of them had been abused and was totally nuts, the charity said that if we hadn't taken them in then in all likelihood they would have been put to sleep soon enough. I agreed to getting them to humour my girlfriend/now wife. I'd never had a pet so was completely indifferent to the idea. I ended up loving those cats.

    They died.

    Then after the kids were born and we'd sorted the house I suggested we get some more cats. These two are ****ing horrible. One of them won't let anyone other than my son near it (and bizarrely it waits to put my son to bed and then checks on him every so often). The other one is quite simply a ****. He is unbelievably destructive and a proper killer. Mice, birds, frogs...it doesn't give a ****, it kills them, decapitates them and then skins them. Even the vet said the other day that he's not wired correctly as he'd got into a scrape that had caused a nasty injury which he seemingly wasn't bothered by.

    I reckon they'll make it to 20+ years.
     
    #365
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  6. Treble

    Treble Keyser Söze

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    <laugh> yeh they probably will!

    Our last cat, I'm sure there was some consciousness in it. When it looked at you, and the way he did certain things... like ONLY drink running water... from a tap, made me feel there was something about it which was more than animal about it. Yours may be terrors but suggests there's something more about them. Like you said, one at least is wired differently.

    I've had 2 cats since I was a kid (both lived a long life), this one is the 3rd. Have to say every one has/had a different personality.
     
    #366

  7. Matth_2014

    Matth_2014 Well-Known Member

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    I said Otamendi was a fanny, don't twist my words in future.
     
    #367
  8. The Ginger Marks

    The Ginger Marks Ma Mo

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    Great dive though homey should have been yellow carded.
     
    #368
  9. Stan

    Stan Stalker

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    Too long.

    matt, I have a short attention span. Please can you keep the videos down to under a minute. Thanks.

     
    #369
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  10. FosseFilberto

    FosseFilberto Pizzeria Superiore and some ... Forum Moderator

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    We know a guy with a head like a spud ... we sometimes call him Saint ... on other occasions we just call him **** <laugh>
     
    #370
  11. Spurlock

    Spurlock Homeboy Forum Moderator

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    Harsh tone Matthew.

    Noted....I don't play by Not606 rules, I just make them....you be's aware FAM.
     
    #371
  12. Treble

    Treble Keyser Söze

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    ^^^^^ lies

    No you didn't. You said he went down on you easier than a cat scratching himself.

    Are you sure the cat wasn't scratching you, trying to get away.
     
    #372
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  13. Matth_2014

    Matth_2014 Well-Known Member

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    I don't own any animals.
     
    #373
  14. Treble

    Treble Keyser Söze

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    Exactly! No wonder they're scratching to get away. On behalf of animals everywhere, all I can say is "phew!" Especially after the depraved things you do to them.

    Please explain from 1:50 to 2:00 in the video below - how are you making cats go down on you?

     
    #374
  15. Matth_2014

    Matth_2014 Well-Known Member

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    I'll do a video after today's game.
     
    #375
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  16. Spurlock

    Spurlock Homeboy Forum Moderator

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    I reckon Stan will go for a crap around that time too as usual.
     
    #376
  17. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    I usually have a crap while watching Matth's videos. It kills 2 cats with one stone.
     
    #377
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  18. pieguts

    pieguts Mentor

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    I am really busy today, so could you keep it too around 5 minutes?
    Perhaps just 1 **** per sentence might help with that?
     
    #378
  19. FosseFilberto

    FosseFilberto Pizzeria Superiore and some ... Forum Moderator

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    ...must be embarrassing each time social services have to lever your wedged arse out of the kitty litter tray ...
     
    #379
  20. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    Not really Fossy <doh>
    They don't even bother coming out anymore since they removed my last kittens. ****ers.
     
    #380

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