The EU debate - Part III

If Scotland gets another vote, we want one too, say Remainers
http://newsthump.com/2016/10/13/if-scotland-gets-another-vote-we-want-one-too-say-remainers/

"Remain voters have pointed out that Scotland is likely to get a second referendum, despite being told such a thing was quite impossible.

When leader of the SNP Nicola Sturgeon announced that consultation was due to begin on the second referendum for Scottish independence, Remainers were quick to point out that such a concept was specifically forbidden by the government and not even worth an Internet petition.

MP Simon Williams commented, “I’m a father of two, so I understand compromise.

“If you give one child something, you have to immediately give the other child something of exactly equal value. Otherwise there’ll be a big drama and everything that goes wrong in their adult lives will be blamed on the emotional scars.”

At that point, Mr Williams turned to the MPs squabbling in the seat behind him shouting, “Right, if you two can’t keep yours hands to yourselves there’ll be no referenda for anyone!”, which was met with shocked silence.

A UKIP MEP who is recovering in a hospital bed at the Belgian taxpayers expense said, “Holding another vote because you didn’t like the result is undemocratic.

“I also say that if people want to vote again just because they were lied to the first time, it calls into question our entire political system.” "

 

Labour challenges government to a 170 question Brexit pub quiz
http://newsthump.com/2016/10/12/labour-challenges-government-to-a-170-question-brexit-pub-quiz/

"Labour has renewed pressure on the Government over plans for Europe, by challenging leading Brexit ministers to a marathon 170 question Brexit pub quiz.

The 170 questions are one for every day leading up to Theresa May’s deadline for triggering formal talks and consist of a picture round, a music round, and a particularly fiendish anagram round.

“I challenge David Davis, Boris Johnson, Liam Fox, and if they can find another Tory who thinks that Brexit is a good idea, then that will make four, otherwise we’ll call it a three man team,” said Deputy Labour leader Tom Watson.

“We’ll meet in the Angel pub on Islington High Street at about 8pm, then have a few drinks, then at 9pm sharp, the Brexit pub quiz begins.

“No phones.”

The Tories are said to be rattled by the challenge

“We’re not sure how to play this,” said one Tory who wished to remain anonymous.

“If there are questions like ‘How much money will go to the NHS following Brexit?’ ‘What posh, blond, careerist maniac on a bike failed to become Prime Minister after ballsing the country right up?’ Or even ‘What language do they speak in France?’ Then we could end up looking quite foolish.”

Labour has denied that the 170 question pub quiz is just a gimmick.

“Absolutely not, the Labour party would never stoop to cheap political gimmicks,” said Mr Watson.

“You can carve that into a giant pledge stone, and put it in a car park in Hastings.” "

 

Owen Smith sent to the Upside Down in Labour reshuffle
http://newsthump.com/2016/10/10/owen-smith-sent-to-the-upside-down-in-labour-reshuffle/

"Jeremy Corbyn has awarded his former leadership rival Owen Smith a shadow cabinet post in the Upside Down, it has emerged.

Smith, who lost the recent leadership election to Corbyn by a record margin, is reportedly relieved to have been given a senior post after a bitterly fought battle over the smoking remnants of the Labour movement.

“I am thrilled that Jeremy has let bygones be bygones and given me this important role in the shadow cabinet,” Smith said in a statement.

“The Upside Down is a challenging department but I plan to survive for as long as I can.”

The Upside Down, which was brought to public attention in the 2016 Netflix mini-series Stranger Things, is a parallel spatial dimension that exists alongside our own and is accessible via a portal in a mysterious government building.

It is believed that Corbyn is seeking to court voters in the Upside Down, though the latest census data indicates that the region has just one resident – a man-eating monster whose eligibility to vote is uncertain.

Smith will relocate with his family to the Upside Down and only return to this dimension occasionally for essential parliamentary business.

It is thought that he will spend much of his time running away from the monster, though Corbyn is reportedly happy for him to spend up to 60 percent of his time hiding. "

 

Corbyn demands no cap on unskilled migration so he can fill his shadow cabinet
http://newsthump.com/2016/10/10/cor...-migration-so-he-can-fill-his-shadow-cabinet/

"The Labour party is to oppose a cap on unskilled workers as they need to get new members for their front bench from somewhere, they have announced today.

The party is facing a skills shortage at senior levels after many of their most experienced members turned down a demand to reapply for their jobs for what would inevitably be a short-term contract.

The shortage became worse after the leader banned zero-hours contracts, which is about as long as several members of his defence and economics teams have lasted.

“Without a regular influx of new people we simply cannot fill the vacancies which constantly appear across the front bench”, Corbyn told reporters.

“Unskilled migration has proven a real benefit to the party; for example Emily Thornberry moved from Surrey to Islington to take a new job.

“If you want proof that Labour stands up for people who lack skills or talent, just take a look at our Shadow Ministers.”

However the Conservatives have responded by pledging to force Labour to supply a list the members of the Shadow Cabinet, leading to some MPs being concerned at being named and shamed as serving under Corbyn.

“We plan to reduce the labour vote to the low tens of thousands every year during this parliament, and we’d be grateful if they’d stick to their current policy which is proving immensely helpful”, said a spokesman for CCHQ. "

 

Government will force companies to reveal how many Labour voters they employ
http://newsthump.com/2016/10/05/gov...to-reveal-how-many-labour-voters-they-employ/

"Home secretary Amber Rudd has outlined proposals for new legislation requiring companies to reveal how many Labour voters and other lefty dissidents they employ.

Speaking at the Conservative Conference in Birmingham, Rudd explained that the UK government will apply quotas to ensure that the number of hippies in gainful employment is kept within sustainable limits.

“This isn’t about naming and shaming,” Rudd explained. “It’s about giving real Britons, and by that I mean Conservative voters, every possible chance to get ahead in life and safeguard their futures.

“Of course,” she continued, “we will always welcome Labour voters into the employment market if they can demonstrate that they have the intelligence and ideological flexibility to fit in with our cherished neo-liberal cutthroat traditions, but it must be on our terms.”

Rudd’s proposal – one of many under consideration – is aimed at helping the government to meet its target of reducing the number of lefties, “to the low tens of thousands,” amid concerns that the lax regime of the last Labour government has allowed socialism to reach unmanageable levels.

Defending her comments on Radio 4’s Today Programme this morning, following widespread criticism from business leaders, Rudd argued that it should be possible to address the issue of liberals without being accused of discrimination.

“It’s all very well for the metropolitan elite to claim that socialism isn’t an issue,” she insisted, “but for people in communities across the country who are seeing school places, GP appointments, and jobs going to bloody lefty hippy trots, it’s a real problem, and this government will act.” "

 

Labour anti-Semites demand an end to persecution
http://newsthump.com/2016/09/30/labour-anti-semites-demand-an-end-to-persecution/

"Anti-Semites within the Labour party have demanded that the campaign of hate against them is ended.

“Being an anti-Semite in Labour isn’t easy at the moment,” said one of Labour’s more prominent anti-Semites.

“A lot of us joined the Labour party in the last year because we saw a bold new movement emerging that would tolerate and even welcome what many people see as our ‘mad’ views that there is a Jewish conspiracy in charge of everything that is awful in the world.

“For a while, it was fine. I could stand up in front of my new colleagues and state boldly that Jews caused 9/11, or Jews were responsible for the financial crash in 2008, or Jews made me stub my toe.

“But now, if you say anything like that, it’s leaked to Channel Four news and before you know what’s happening, you’re being harangued by that dreadful shrill woman just because you’ve said that ‘not just Jews should be allowed to celebrate holocaust day,’ it’s not on.”

However, a spokesperson for the Labour leadership has played down the criticism.

“I don’t think they’ve anything really to worry about,” he said.

“Yes, I realise we’ve had to issue statements condemning anti-Semitism within the party, but I think it’s fairly clear to everyone that there’ll be no genuine action on it.

“We welcome all sorts in our party, anti-Semite or not.

“Unless they criticise Jeremy, in which case we’ll put a brick through their window and send them rape threats.” "

 

What rubbish you talk. Bigotry by definition is selective prejudice against a particular ethnic or minority group.

And no, I'm not a bigot. Unlike you and your Tubby friend!...

 

Infantile little prick!...

 

Pete has had the most epic meltdown likely ever seen on these boards ... some may put it down to work, a rapidly declining client base compounded when Gerald the dancing pig switched to Pete's deadly rivals, Simple Accounting...some may put it down to the growing calamity of Brexit ... personally I think it is more likely to be caused by additives in the new Wildebeest & Chorizo Giant Pasty that Greggs have recently added to their menu ...

 

We all thought that David Icke was nuttiest person ever but Pete has just claimed the title. He need treatment quickly. Out thoughts are with Ula at this terrible time for her

 

Better ask Dull about Icke. He's a big fan!...

 

David Davis 3 months ago

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David Davis yesterday

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Sounds like there has been some realisation that he was talking bollocks

 

As he never talks anything else, it really comes as no surprise. Both he and Fox are idiots who, given their head, will lead the the U.K. down the road to economic suicide!...

 

Tory majority slashed from 25,000 to 5,000 in Cameron's old constituency.

Rumblings of discontent.....

 

Looks that way! And it was the Lib-dems (remember them?) who gained!...

 

They've been taking 15-20% off the Tory vote in local elections for months but there is no sign of it being reflected nationally so I'm not reading much into it.

 

Interesting result, but this often happens in by-elections.

Also the previous candidate was the former PM

 

It's insight like this that sets Kustard apart as the most astute of political commentators.

 

Give it time steve. There's nothing people hate more than the cost of living going up. It's when their selfishness and finger pointing kicks in radically.