Off Topic Pets

A cat from 5 doors up used to come and **** in our garden which annoyed the hell out of me.

I "followed" it home once and found out where it lived, knocked on the owners door and asked them to kindly keep their pet from doing this.

They were fairly abusive in telling me to leave the house and saying "It's a ****ing cat, it goes where it wants"

I walked my dog along to their front garden and allowed him to **** right in the middle - they opened the door and asked if I was going to pick it up to which I asked them to pick up their cats ****e from my front garden. They refused again so I collected it over the next few days in a bucket and emptied it straight onto their lawn. It hasn;t been back since then!!

 

We also have two guinea pigs called Chocolate and Orange..They have complete opposite personalities with Chocolate the extrovert and Orange the shy one..

 

I've got a Carolina corn snake called Falkor ​

 

Not anymore yer nebby twat.

 

That's a more acceptable way of dealing with it than shooting it in the head or poisoning it with antifreeze

 

Maybe get a cat, then you won't get others entering your garden for a ****.

 

Or a bear.

 

That'd do it.

 

Used to have a cat in fact 4, and Hamster not at the same time though. Next door's spaniel runs none stop on our back garden lawn !. Love to have a Liger if I win the £146 m euros tonight.

 

Yeah of course you will!

 

Had a golden labrador called Trevor.
When I went to register at the vets he asked "name" I replied "Trevor" to which he said "no the dogs name" I said that is the dogs name. He flipped the daft tw*t and really lost it saying that was animal abuse giving it such a stupid name.
Anyway a few expletives later and the threat of violence calmed the f*cker down.
Still told him to go away in jerky movements and went to another vets.
Ffs it was just a name.
They answer to your voice not a name. It used to answer to "ow" come here.
I just have a cat now called Larsson cos it does f*ck all.

 

That's bizarre, wtf is wrong with calling a dog a normal name? What was his dog called, Fluffy McBunnycuddles?

 

I always give my pets human names. Never had a problem. What an idiot that vet was. My present cat is call Paul.

 

One of my old mates from where I used to work had a dog called Ian.

 

When I retire I'll be getting a dog.

Not a bitch though, I've had one in my life and one's enough

 

Fkn hell, that's my name.

 

Woof?

 

Sit!

 

Sod off you rotten bastards.

If nobody has anything nice to say, I'm going to lie down and lick my balls.

 

Can you go get me the paper n me slippers, before you relax. Good lad (pat's head)....