When I was young we had a spate of Elephant jokes that were silly like that, here are some I remember Q) How many elephants can you get in a mini ? A) Four - two in the front, two in the back Q) How many Hippos can you get in a mini ? A) None - It's full of elephants. Q) How can you tell if you've had an Elephant in your fridge ? A) Footprints in the butter Q) Why do Elephants paint the soles of their feet Yellow ? A) So they can lie upside down and hide in a bowl of custard Q) How does an Elephant get up an Oak Tree ? A) Sits on an acorn and waits for it to grow Q) How does an Elephant get down from an Oak Tree ? A) Sits on a leaf and waits till Autumn Q) Why do Ducks have webbed feet ? A) So they can stamp out smoldering fires Q) Why do Elephants paint their toe nails red ? A) So they can hide in cherry trees and jump down and stamp out any smoldering Ducks I think I've bored you enough with my Elephants, does anybody else remember stupid jokes from childhood?
As kids we thought this was hilarious: What's brown and comes steaming out of cows? The Isle of Wight ferry.
lmao...i knew all of those, and you're the first person i've ever known who knew the burning ducks joke! lol
noooo...trying to avoid at all costs! lol Btw, did BB ever tell us how a woman can give birth to two babies who aren't related? lol
Late Phone Call To The Vet ................ A dog lover, whose dog was a female and "in heat', agreed to look after her neighbors male dog while the neighbors were on vacation. She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds, rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together, in obvious pain and unable to disengage, as so frequently happens when dogs mate. Unable to separate them, and perplexed as to what to do next, although it was late, she called the vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice. The lady explained the problem to him, and the vet said, "Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and he will be able to withdraw." "Do you think that will work?" she asked. "It just worked for me," he replied.
A crusty old Chief Petty Officer found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic liberal ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Chief Petty Officer for conversation. "Excuse me, Chief, but you seem to be a very serious man…is something bothering you?" "Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature." The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action." "Yes, ma'am, a lot of action." The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself." The Chief Petty Officer just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when was the last time you had sex?" "1955, ma'am." "Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out and relax! I mean, no sex since 1955! Come with me." She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times. Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his grizzled bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955." The Chief said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, "I should hope not - it's only 2130 now."
