Seems like this is the Official Weekend Thread™ Working late tonight switching up our office router, then meeting the missus and heading home for an early night. Tomorrow missus is round for shagging then heading to Rochester to see one of my friends for her birthday + she's recently pregnant so I can't get too drunk Sunday I'm painting my flat and eating pizza. My weekend is nearly as **** as Grave Raper's (it's not, I don't think I could ever have a weekend as **** as his)
Usual form for this moobed charlatan. Quiz night tonight for Julie (quiz night is usually code for her getting filled with afro-Caribbean man juice) meanwhile I stay in watching her fenian offspring whilst I watch slender young men taking cocks in their mouths and ass. Tomorrow got football in the morning before she bores the tits off me in the afternoon about "veronica's husband bought her this" and "jennifer's boyfriend did this romantic gesture" as I drift into daydreams about getting caked in jizz. Sunday is chapel and then dinner with the in-laws.
" stenchpipe" A catheter like device inserted into the rectum for the purpose of carrying exess flatus to a socially acceptable release site.
I'm off for a wee Jolly tonight with the missus. Decided on the bridge of Orchy hotel. Nice and secluded with river and marshes nearby for handy body disposal. #Shewontbecominghome
Is your "friend" cute pregnant, horny pregnant or "she'll need a few stitches after that comes out" pregnant? Does she have really big dark pregnant nipples? You can't fancy her anyway because the golden rule is men can't be friends with a woman they are attracted to. It was in When Harry Met Sally so it must be true.