I know what happened. Moyes is a member of a species of lizard people who secretly control the world from subterranean lairs underneath northern Norway. This explains his inability to understand human psychology. Anyway, alerted by tell-tale scales, from reptilian skin shedding, littering the corridors at the AoL, Pat van Aanholt, who in his spare time is a Scooby Doo-style supersleuth, launched an investigation. He finally tracked down his quarry half an hour before kick off yesterday when he interrupted our manager consuming a meal of specially bred super mealworms. Because of this he was abducted by the lizard people and taken to their Norwegian lair. He'll be back for our next game but won't remembering a thing because he'll be under the spell of the lizard people's mind control. Unfortunately, they haven't adapted this mind control system for winning football matches. Well, its about as realistic as anything anyone else has come up with.
They had their hands full investigating the Stadium of Light Ghost. Which turned out to be Ellis Short and the secret entrance to his hidden money vault, which is modelled on Scrooge McDuck's.
Yep and Rodwell will continue to play crap in his place !, and the new defender needs to get his finger out. This has to be the last season for Short he has to realise he cannot run this club, so get a billionaire owner in please, there are plenty out there, before we wind up like Leeds.
Okay, here's another scenario/theory. PVA loves the green stuff and his pre match random urine sample tested positive.
I heard it turns of Patrick is Patricia and you can't play in the Premier League with a vag. This is what actually happened and he is getting a schoong sewn on this week. Fact.
Given the KO time that could have some relevance. Met up with old London mates and had one pint too many.
Sunderland won't face Premier League action over late Patrick van Aanholt switch against Tottenham Sunderland won't be charged over late withdrawal of Patrick van Aanholt The defender was named in the team to face Tottenham but didn't play Premier League rules state clubs can be fined for late team changes But the League are happy with the medical reasons given for the switch By CRAIG HOPE FOR THE DAILY MAIL PUBLISHED: 22:34, 19 September 2016 | UPDATED: 22:34, 19 September 2016 e-mail View comments Sunderland will not face action following Patrick van Aanholt’s withdrawal just 15 minutes before kick-off at Spurs on Sunday after the Premier League were satisfied with the medical reasons outlined in a note from the club doctor. The Holland defender was told of his removal from the team during the warm-up by substitute Jason Denayer, who started in his place. Van Aanholt was clearly surprised at the news and appeared to boot away a ball in frustration before leaving the field. He was not named among the substitutes but watched Sunderland’s 1-0 defeat from the dug-out at White Hart Lane. please log in to view this image Patrick van Aanholt boots the ball away in frustration after a late change is made please log in to view this image Jason Denayer broke the news to the Sunderland defender during the warm-up please log in to view this image Sunderland won't face any action over the late withdrawal of van Aanholt (left) English Premier League - 24 September 2016, 15:00 Sunderland v Crystal Palace Crystal Palaceto Win 13/8 CHANGE BET BET NOW Powered by £50 IN FREE BETST&Cs apply Claim RELATED ARTICLES Previous 1 Next please log in to view this image Sunderland can't score, can't defend and look set for a... please log in to view this image Patrick van Aanholt shocked after Sunderland boss David... please log in to view this image Tottenham 1-0 Sunderland: Harry Kane's second half strike... please log in to view this image Tottenham vs Sunderland: Team news, kick-off time, probable... SHARE THIS ARTICLE Share Afterwards, manager David Moyes explained that Van Aanholt had been taken out of the team because of ‘medical reasons’, before saying: ‘I won’t follow up if you don’t mind. ‘I’d like to be straight. We advised the referee very late on. I got word of something very late. People can get injured in the warm-up.’ Premier League rules state that clubs can be fined for changes to the starting line-up after team sheets have been submitted if a valid reason is not given. please log in to view this image David Moyes said van Aanholt had been taken out of the team because of ‘medical reasons’ However, Sportsmail understands that the Premier League are satisfied with the medical note that was handed to referee Mike Dean and Sunderland will face no action over the late withdrawal. The club, meanwhile, say any medical issue is a confidential matter. Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/fo...Patrick-van-Aanholt-switch.html#ixzz4Kk09haz9 Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook
The club, meanwhile, say any medical issue is a confidential matter. There's that clear communication with the fans that Bain promised. Seriously why are we so **** at PR???
I could get personal texts from Moyes himself on the hour every hour, assuring me that it was an unforeseen injury, and I still wouldn't believe him. Seems pretty clear that we're not likely to hear the truth on this one.
Unless it's something really serious, like a failed drugs test or something ridiculous. If it were as serious as that I'd have guessed we'd have heard about it today though surely? Guess we'll see if he's involved at QPR.
