On a serious note. I had travelled home from Nigeria and decided a stress busting game of golf was required the next day and as usual i was in the rough a lot and at one point had to get through some prickly bushes to get at my ball. Later that day i had an itchy knee and couldn't stop scratching it, despite my missus doing my head in to get me to stop. Anyway, i ended up with a small red lump on my knee and my missus telling me to go to the doctors, well, you just don't go to the doctors every time you get a spot do you? I should have though, as next day my knee was up like a cricket ball, rushed to the docs who gave me some tablets and told me to report back if the swelling hadn't started to go down that day. By the end of the day my knee looked like a football and my missus had to cut a pair of shorts to get them over the swelling. I was rushed to hospital and spent the next 5 days there mate on drips and loads of injections. My temperature had gone through the roof apparently. On the morning of the 5th day i sat down the way i would normally and bent my leg causing my knee to erupt with all this brown and purple gunge coming out and it stunk as well. Later that day they did some exploratory digging in my knee and got something which looked like chewing gum out of my knee. I was later discharged but to this day i still don't know what the **** it was or whether i'd been bitten in Nigeria or prickled by a thorny bush or what. I must admit though, that's the first and only time i've been worried for my health.
The thing that pisses me off about insects biting you is why the **** do they do it. They aren't trying to eat you, just piss you off it seems. I know that if I was minding my own business and suddenly a being the size of a planet loomed over me I'd get the **** out of there not bite it for no reason.
While I value a tan I value my life more and jumping onto some enormous beast to bite it out of spite doesn't seem like a good plan. I would honestly like to know why they do it. It's obvious why a blood sucker does it but what an ant gets from locking its jaws onto you in a death grip (literally) I don't have a clue.
The poor little mites will have just been protecting their territories, that you must have inadvertently invaded, 'cos they saw you as a threat ! You've got nee sympathy for the tiny little creatures, who are just trying to 'get on with' their lives, have you
Stop worrying fellas, my son-in-law's mother died of malaria aged 35. That's when it's time to worry.
All spiders are venomous ... There are no poisonous spiders anywhere. You can eat any spider you like and nothing will happen to you. All spiders are venomous, but only a few are harmful to humans and none of those are found in England. N.B. - adders are not poisonous either. They are venomous, but not usually dangerous to a healthy adult human. You only need worry about an adder bite if you are old, young, or have a weak heart or such-like
I put tiger balm on any skin bit or irritation. It's class stuff. I use it for colds and on muscle strains too. It helps with everything that stuff.
Part of the food chain mate. Without them what would frogs eat? I do agree like that Noah was a ****. Not as big a **** as Moses like, telling everybody what they can & cannot do. They should have left that little twat in that ****ing lake. But the biggest **** of all was God. I mean ffs! He get's some young married lass up the stick & doesn't give a **** about the bairn. He even let some Roman soldiers nail him to a big lump of wood. Some ****ing father he was!!! I hope he casts me into hell when I die. At least I'll get a drink & a shag down there. Plus, I'll eventually get to meet my mate Comm. That's if the Devil will have me what with me being such a twat.
I haven't read Dante's Inferno in a few years but I don't think that's how it's generally theorised. More likely dry and you and Comm would be made to bum each other with cactuses everyday.
