Transfer thread for 2016-17 season

It was a nothing game at the end of the season.
It wasn't the first time that a defending champions had lost the first fixture of the next Premier League season.
I'll even leave out that it was against the relegation favourites.

 

Who had just 13 first team players.

 

And no manager. I didn't mention any of those things.

 

Very kind of you. I'll leave out that you conceded 5 to a side that had already been relegated

 

The season was over. Our players were preparing to have a **** Euros.

 

Do you know what we haven't addressed? The lack of goals and assists from Toby Alderweireld! His output is appalling for a player who claims to be an attacking midfielder/winger/striker. Ship him out Poch!

 

Good job we got Sissoko before we play Burnley.
No PL top 6 club could live with the shame of losing to them unless the
result does not matter.

 

Yeah, yeah.

I'm sure they couldn't wait to finish below Arsenal.

 

That is sooooo last season!

 

Also, how do i get one of those forum moderator flags on my avatar? Seems anyone can just get one.

 

You're not cool enough.

 

They didn't give a ****. Anyone who watched it could see that.

The irony is that we only ended up losing that game because of a blatant, ridiculous dive when the score was 2-1.
The sending off completely changed the momentum and they were rocking badly.
Who was the diver? Moussa Sissoko.

http://i0.wp.com/wittyfutty.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Sissoko-1.gif?resize=617,369

 

Some clubs dish them out to anyone, unfortunately...

 

Dive? Vertonghen clearly pushes him

 

"Everton owner Farhad Moshiri has claimed the club withdrew from a deal to sign Moussa Sissoko out of loyalty to Toffees midfielder James McCarthy."

.
Sure you did, Farhad, sure you did.

 

So let me guess, the poor man's Ginger Marks is paying us a visit? What a tiny-minded oaf...

With the Standard reporting the same thing, I have one obvious question about how it breaks down: just how specific are the dates for each £6m?

If we presume that Newcastle's bank balance had a £6m increase last night, does that mean the date for the next payment is 30th August 2017? So does that mean if Sissoko plays to his Newcastle form rather than his France form and we offload him by 31st July 2017, we don't have to pay the second installment?

Think of the potential profit margin of that: as he will be considered A £30m Player, at the very least we'd be expecting £20m for him or, in Levy terms, a profit of anything between £8m and £14m - which should cover next summer's winger whose name begins with an N. Current front runners are Saul Niguez, Lenny Nangis, Nani or Kensuke Nagai

I've seen a €600k loan fee quoted in a few places

 

I'd assume that you're joking, but your opinions can be quite... opaque?
Mike Dean would give it this season, though. I'm dreading our first game with him in charge.

 

Luiz is firstly a lunatic - as are the people who selected him for any world team, secondly he's a nasty thug. Thirdly, he's not even a very good defender and was pretty much laughed out of the PL. I bet PSG couldn't believe their luck when Chelsea waved £34mill at them. No bargain!

Benteke failed at Liverpool. Isn't particularly skillful and can only play in one type of attack. No bargain.

Slimani. Completely untested in the PL. Success in one league that has nowhere near the depth of the PL is no guarantee of him making it in a much more competitive environment. A big risk at the price.

 

I have to say, despite my generally Nostradamus-like tone throughout yesterday's proceedings, today was the first 'morning after' in as long as I can remember when I woke up without feeling severely depressed and frantically googling which free agents were available. Even the Bale summer with all that Elvis/Beatles nonsense had me feeling nervous as heck once the dust settled; feelings that proved well-founded with hindsight.

Yes, I have massive reservations about Sissoko - especially the price tag. But the irony isn't lost on me that the player he is likely to compete with the most was utterly ineffectual for the first 3 years of his career here. And then, suddenly, under a manager who defined a clear role for him within a clear system, he has flourished into perhaps the most important cog in the entire team.

More than any other manager in PL history, I trust Poch. He has a ruthless, driven edge to him that can seem harsh but ultimately is the hallmark of a manager who knows what he is doing. And even if he doesn't know what he is doing, I have endless admiration for a man who has the balls to make difficult decisions and stand by them through thick and thin. For that reason, I am confident that he will get the best out of Mr Shop Window. And if he doesn't, I am equally as confident that like other big-money signings in the past, Poch simply won't play him to the detriment of the team.

As for our other business, I am delighted. Wanyama and Janssen were two desperately needed additions who we brought in early and without the usual circus that comes to Seven Sisters every summer. Both look to have settled in very nicely and the latter looks like he is a goal away from the floodgates opening. Most modern defenders are pansies who hate being bullied and I just love watching him do it so well.

Pau Lopez is a player who I have seen play just the once but he looked very impressive for such a young lad - cucumber cool and brimming with confidence. If Vorm does leave in January or at the end of the season, this could turn out to have been a very smart piece of business.

But for me, the player who I am most excited to see - not least because he already has 4 twitter accounts about his legendary time-keeping - is N'Koudou. A lot of us scratched our heads when he was first announced on Sky Sports Papyrus back in 347 BC, but like Vic and Vince, we targeted him very early on in the window and dug our heels in throughout all of Marseilles's shenanigans to get our man. He is clearly a player who the manager was extremely keen to bring in, and I am excited to find out why.

All in all, I haven't been in this good a mood since VDV and that's the honest truth from this forum's second grumpiest poster

Whichever way this all turns out, this will be the day that I tell my grandchildren of: the time that Levy blinked.

 

You'd like to think that every Premier League ref would give an obvious shove but you can't be sure with them.